Another birthday –
Dear Guillianna and Elijah –
Great Grandma Sharyn’s birthday came and went without hearing from mommy, her grand-daughter…. so sad , and also another birthday passed by in your home , one that we have been told – “no gift no contact” or we would “be taken to court for harassment” !?! Family events, birthdays, connections had always been among your favorite things. I read one of the letters I received from your mom a while ago, as I was preparing some documents – and it was clear that the intent is to make you hate… hate all you once knew and change what was once fact into fiction or have it be forgotten. It is clear that in order for you to press forward to ‘earn’ the support and love every child desires from their parent you must hide all you ever remember. You will be taught to hate and resent. It’s also clear that the distancing, the name calling that is our burden will likely become you’re view, that your Nana and Poppy are “toxic, narcissistic” people. It was our hope that your good memories would be sincere and deep rooted in your lives, but in all reality the first nine and six years of your lives will not likely resonate with you very long. I write this letter today to say – our lives will be forever changed by the convoluted misinformation that has come out in these past months. A little girl and boy who loved their grandparents so very much – who are worthy of so much love and to have had active grandparents in us as part of their lives have been denied. Some could say the innocent have literally been victimized by the needs of the adult situation. The reality is in all the first nine and six years of your lives, Nana and Poppy had a very special relationship with both of you because you lived with us so much of the time. That unique environment led to accusations that we favor some grandchildren over others , that led to ideas that Nana and Poppy show “favor” to some of their own children …. these opinions were voice by mom to us. Memories of how she felt second to her own brother. Similar to memories she had when she lived n Romania and her brothers were allowed to stay home but some of the girls were sent to an orphanage. For every single moment of every single day as a child she felt it unfair and she struggled desperately to cope with her anger and frustration at her complex and sorrowful issues with her Romanian family. The idea that we have somehow “lied” to you. That we mistreated you ? That you have felt a need to support stories that Nana and Poppy were unkind or not caring …. that you have said we did bad things or did wrong by either of you ? Is beyond sorrowful. Nana and Poppy never will forget the love, the hugs, the fun, the laughter, the playtime ….
just the other day Poppy found text messages from you, or videos you made… we are hopeful that you will be able to take all we have for you and make sense of this one day. Know that we simply hope to minimize the childhood trauma of losing so many people you loved. All your relatives clearly are missing you loving you wanting your happiness and peace. The idea that we are toxic is an opinion. That will become yours in the care of people who have so little respect, so much hatred and so much trauma. The entire time you were in the Mitten they didn’t often speak to your other grandparents, and now you do so maybe there is hope that one day a nice turn of events that allows you the opportunity to share your lives with all your family and still have the love and respect of your mom and dad – That your relationship with all you love can have balance. We cannot tell you in enough ways or enough times how loved you are!
A year ago Valentine’s Day this began to seem so odd, we sent both of you gifts. Yet there was something said that Guillianna didn’t get one ? And was crushed …”do not to say anything to her” – We see now – It was the beginning of a plan to remove the attachment And the list card or love letters sent were demanded to be stopped. It has been a progression that seems to all fit in place with the motives.
You two used to talk to Elena and Gray. (And even little Cole ). Until there was a general post put on Facebook by dad, and items in it were negative and berating to the role of a mother in law – since then – this goes back quite a bit now, but ever since you’ve not been allowed to FaceTime your cousins and other family members “unfriended” or cut out of life . People you love will not ever be disposable to most people. Yet there are those who feel that philosophy is best. Nana and Poppy assume you’re told that we are bad parents. That we are bad grandparents. You will end up believing what you will. We can hope for you to have peace and happiness.
The idea that we have had some hard lessons handed to us by our children, some horrible events for us , has in fact changed us. The pathway between father daughter and mom for us is seemingly irreparable, but your Poppy is the eternal optimist. He has no idea how to help his own daughter find the love, respect and kindness she was always shown, that are core principles on which he has lived his whole life. We cannot make others see what they do not want to see, yet the hope cannot be taken from either of us .
Youre likely going to have a break from school soon – and we will hope it’s full of fun and laughter for you. The truth may always be hidden, or the truths you yourselves know to be true – may remain tucked away for ever, but that will not stop the wishes for you both. We love you to the moon and back,
forever and for always ,
❤️Nana and Poppy❤️🍪