What if ?
Dear Guillianna and Elijah –
I hope that when you’re grown that you’ll never have to ask yourselves “what if?” To imagine our own children asking themselves “what if ? I had just listened, What if I just trusted? , what if I didn’t cut out my grandparents and parents and siblings, nieces and nephews from my life like paper snowflakes? , what if my parents have loved me all along the very same way I love my children? , what if it was I who simply could not allow myself to trust?” I wonder if Aunt Alyx would be here today if she could have asked “ what if I listen to my mom and dad and stay away from drugs ?” “What if I trust the people who love me?” What if everything Nana and Poppy have ever done with and for me, And my kids, Guillianna and Elijah, was pure love and yet the past didn’t allow it to be seen? What if Nana and Poppy should not have been removed from your lives ? All of these “WHAT IF “ questions are not in this situation , yours to ask. You never have to wonder what if about anything to do with what has transpired over these past months. This is not your fault. THIS WHOLE SAD STORY , has not been your fault. Great grandparents, cousins, aunts , uncles, not being spoken to or seen, birthdays missed, Christmas and New Years wishes, and all had been your life in the past is not something for you to ever worry about for it has not been something you can or should have to ever worry about. When you’re older you will have opportunities to see or speak to those who are still here, and they will welcome the chance to get it hear all about your lives ! And as to anyone who you could potentially not see again- depending upon your parents intentions, they know how you have lived them. We absolutely know how much love you have had in your hearts and all the wonderful moments we have shared. That is what we will always treasure. You must not ever feel responsible for any of these sad things for you are not responsible.
Instead we hope you’ll see all the wonderful things you did while in the Mitten , we hope you’ll remember all the wonderful people who were a part of your lives and you a part of theirs …
We love you both to the moon and back –
forever and for always –
Remember this – you are both so deserving of all the good memories, of more time with those you love, deserving of more Mitten memories and trips to visit , and we will always hope that one day people who could help you to have more of all things good more time more love and fun, will say what if ? To themselves and actually try to see truth see life given as a gift to be grateful for rather than not enough . Ask seriously of self – What if Nana and Poppy have only ever loved our children and tried to break though the barriers of a very difficult Romanian past – and despite our inability to reach some hearts, we still do believe in love and that love can win and one day your mom will see her parents, as they truly are, and what they meant to her children, if not herself.
❤️Nana and Poppy❤️🍪