Presidents’ Day …

Nana February 18, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

We are missing you both so very much –  we cannot imagine what must have been said to you both, or rather when we try to envision how two innocent kids went from needing hugs and kisses all the time,  living with us day in and day out, – to our disappearance from your lives? It’s simply the saddest emotion imaginable.    For your innocence and your heart break has been caught up in the disdain or objectives of your parents , not a result of your years in the Mitten.    The possible effects of such emotional duress is what drives the continued written love and support.   These pages have been compiled for you when you grow older and hopefully when the smiles and memories are seen we can only hope it will allow you to feel a sense of love and true devotion we have always had and will always have,  to your happiness as childrenand future adults.   We hope  that you will know the love  have otherwise been denied in these past months and seemingly into the future.   Poppy is the eternal optimist and is hopeful one day soon his own daughter will recognize what has not been seen to date , that someone will value life time of dedication to helping loving and comittment w parent has for a child , and our role in her life and in yours, or at the very least see the true loss her own children are experiencing .     He will always have hope yet he too cannot imagine what you’ve been toldwhat you’re going thru and how you have no one you could even talk to about it without fear of disappointing the parents you love  – wonder as to why either we disappeared-  Or why you no longer can see or talk to us.  Why we are not sharing in your lives as we always had….  When you left it was so clear how you felt about us.  The  love you have had in your hearts and how much you always looked forward to being with us and it’s validated by how you responded when mom would simply call and allow you to be talking to us.    The way you wanted to talk to and see Poppy last time we FaceTimed  in May 2018 and  how it contradicts this statement currently being said , that you “don’t want to talk to us”.    Are Stories  are being manufactured ?   What could have been explained to you to rationalize or explain how your grandparents can be disowned after nine years of living as primary care givers in your lives and after a lifetime of love and caring for mom.  The reality is clearly being distorted into something untrue – or truth held back,  and yet I know that if you could freely speak to or spend time around every single person who ever saw you during your years in the Mitten, every person you ever had contact with , all the teachers and coaches and friends – all your relatives, you would be assured how happy you had been and how loved and cared for you were.     You would be able to verify and ask any questions you wish of your childhood in the Mitten and they would all say – you were both so very happy and given every single opportunity Nana and Poppy could possibly imagine to make sure you were both safe and happy and every drop of energy and love behind it was sincere and your time spent appreciated beyond measure.   We have helped our daughter never asking anything in return and supporting her educational and professional goals 100 percent     She was able to finish college provide for you an avenue to get your own educations and provided some of the financial resources needed for extracurricular activities, she served her country and paid the price of many lost years that she wants very much to recapture .    Sadly your hearts had to be severed from all you knew and everything you loved so much.    Our hope for both of you is that your love and  the respect for parents, the love and images of these pages,  will help you restore the broken trust you must have felt when all you ever knew as your family  suddenly was disappearing .   As time passes – your minds may forget nuances or details – but your heart-break and distrust issues could lurk beneath and if that happens KNOW there is no truth to any possible or conceivable scenario that warranted the events that have happened since November of 2017 , which is where Poppy and I first became aware of something was up.  It was Guillianna who told us that they “ had to move”.     Oddly it was then that our own daughter told us  the Army was forcing her to move to be a support system.    Everything that transpired there after is a series of shock surprises and has now resulted in vilifying Nana and Poppy –    The repeat of the drama that unfolded in the months since you have left is beyond comprehension- and it’s the children who had to pay the price for it all.      Until the day comes where truth is exposed the  you are free to voice happily with mom and day as well as have a relationship with those you have loved in their absence- the pain continues.

Wishing you love always – to the moon and back

forever and for always

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

To the moon and back; You are our Sunshine!

Nana February 17, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

This is a photo moon taken from my moving car last night so it’s kind of blurry – but it was so bright  –  we hope when you look out and see the moon at night you remember that we love you to the moon and back ,  or each day when the sun comes up –  even if behind clouds you’ll know you are our sunshine you make us happy  – no matter the day or show far away – thoughts of you can warm the coldest day, and bring sunshine to the soul in the greatest of storms !  

We love you – today tomorrow and always – from here to the moon and back 

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Hopefully a four day full of fun …

Nana February 16, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

It’s likely you have a mini school break and a possible four day weekend on board – so we are hopeful it will be full of fun and memories made.     We will always hope to hear from you two and mom – but until that day comes – know this… we may not have seen each other for months, and no matter what you’ve been taught to think, what you feel may be the cause, it is not your fault, we love you both, we always will.  We want mom to be happy and her children to be safe, happy and know how much they are loved.    Grandparents have all kinds of different roles in life, but one thing is for sure these two grandparents are proud of your courage, your strength, and we hope you will always be able to remember the years you spent with us – even when we are old and cannot remember – let these pages be a source of comfort and happiness.    Love you both to the moon and back you will forever hold our heart! – forever and for always ….

XOXOXOXOXOXO

forver and for always –

❤️Nana and Poppy ❤️?

Telling a story –

Nana February 15, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

These photos and letters tell a story.   Not a “sob story” .  Not  a fiction tale, but a love story.   The story of us, our lives have been a journey.   It’s a story of how Nana and Poppy love you and have every hope and dream that you will both be healthy and happy, yesterday, today and for all of your tomorrows.     Your Nana and Poppy started our lives together with hope and a truly special love that has brought us and others so much,   It has brought good, wonderful happiness and joy  – yes there has been – so much sorrow and unhappiness too.    Life is full of so many things , during your time In the Mitten you both learned to crawl, to walk, to talk, to play, color, write, read …. and you learned so much about how love felt and somewhere inside if it isn’t manipulated or brainwashed away, you both know who we as your grandparents are, what we meant to you and how you felt when with us.    There is much you will forget about us if it is continued to be forbidden to see or speak to us , but there is much you will remember.   How you remember it, will be of critical importance to each of your futures.  As history has taught us – the traumas of loss and no ability to control events, the trauma of love that is taken or trust issues that develope when events change the trajectory of a life, can be defining to one’s entire life,  this much we have learned unequivocally.    The consequence of living so much of your younger years with us is that you were very attached to so many people, and now you no longer see or speak to any of them.   That loss and the influence that once had and has now been perceived as that we are someone bad  enough to warrant such drastic measure, the idea that your time spent here was bad, all has the potential to be a be huge detriment.    In the initial months when you left the Mitten we had hoped that with some time things could change and your family would bond and see the wonderful things your grandparents are for you and during the years we helped .    And to be honest , we will always hope for things to change toward love and kindness respect and civility.    We know that with time all things change, people grow and experiences change them, and some people are able to let change create positive results.    That is what we hope can happen and that the good and work memories of your lives in the Mitten can facilitate good positive and nurturing results.     When disharmony and animosity, anger, jealousy and hate take over feelings of appreciation, love, respect, kindness, and the desire or willingness to seek out  those things in your life – the happiness you can feel is significantly limited.   Life is full of all kinds of obstacles some of which could be physical, some are emotional and some are even self inflicted.   If you tell yourself you cannot, or believe you cannot, it is likely you won’t .    If you tell yourself you can, or believe you can – the likelihood of achieving greatly improves .   Positivity  and gratitude are so important.     When things are not as we hoped they could be, when things go wrong or we feel our efforts were not enough, we can give in to sorrow.   We can give in to defeated dreams or we can realize that our belief in ourselves, our goals, our hopes and dreams  are not ever completed or finished.  They evolve and adapt.     Even in coping with the loss of our own daughter,  her life has tremendous value and can inspire others to not follow the fate she met.    Her loss could bring the reality of what drugs can do to a life front and center to all in our family to all her siblings and nieces and nephews,  rather than having been just words they once heard or were forewarned of, they have seen the outcome of choices that bring destruction.   Even in the loss of relationships – choices made, where disharmony and discord have negated all that was positive, we can hope for lessons learned.

We know that people will say and tell you as you grow an impression or opinion  of what was for them – and for every story told  there will be a side you may not be able to hear or see until you’re older.   You may not have all the necessary pieces to make sense of it all as children but when older you just may find all things in life much better when we choose to love, be kind , have respect, and be grateful.     Your mom and dad believed that your lives are better lived without the attachment of the family here.   That is their right,    As an unrelated example of  a parental right, some people raise children to believe in Islam, other in Judaism and others in Christianity as well as many other religions across the globe.   Each parent has the right to raise a child how they feel is best for their family and how they may believe themselves. There are different Opinions on most everything in life and there are often more than one solution to every problem-  and usually we have freedom to  choose the solution or path that suits us best.    These letters are written, and photos preserved, to say that full perspective is very important.    It is possible for people to have beliefs that differ, yet still have respect for others opinions.   To coexist in a diverse world and to recognize that even with  differences there are common bonds.    Nana and Poppy, the lives they lived,  the decisions and choices they made, impacted lives of our parents, people around us, our children, their own children.  Without love between us, the children of our lives, their children, and their future children , would not have a beginning.   Origin –  it’s the most basic fact of what family and life is.    There is no question that genetics  is one aspect of family.   For The purpose of this particular love letter we want to talk not about eye color or genetic code,  but rather what family means in the world of adoption, such as my own – family means that I have had a mother and father who love me, they provided for me, when I was in an orphanage, they came to me and chose me  to love as their daughter.    Through their efforts I was given the life I have had and for that I am and always will be grateful.   I was given the opportunity that I would not have otherwise had.     My childhood was not without complication and imperfection.   Yet it is not the complications, issues  or imperfections that I choose to live my life by,  it is the good, the love, the kindness I was taught through all these years that I choose – it is good and love that leads me.   It is said that the choice to believe in jealousy, or what wasn’t ,  to let insecurities dictate, or let the choice to live each day with anger and hate-  hurts those around you and  most of all it hurts yourself.    What is often a starting point of self preservation is ultimately isolation,  then, when love is not seen, when gratitude is not known, when hate controls and happiness from the soul and it will diminish joy , eventually it consumes and eventually it paves the way for a life of distrust and missed opportunities to share love with family and provide a genuine sense of foundational love.  If someone never has felt that, it is hard to make it understood as having any value.   Yet it does – it has great value and always will.  One day the love your mom and dad have for you will be for you as an adult irreplaceable and have value beyond words.     That is – and always was the kind of love we have had for our family.    To love, to trust, to give of self are all qualities that are within each of us.

In our own dreams,  we hoped we would be very active in your lives.  A winter break at school would bring visits or summer vacation – it’s all we ever imagined and all we ever knew for a very long time.    The course taken in recent months leads us  to believe that will no longer be the case.   What we do have is hope.     Hope for you to live happily.  To grow and remember love, feel loved by so many and trust that in time you will choose to live in gratitude for what is not spite or anger if what you imagined I’d thought was fair or right.    Most kids from time to time don’t think it’s fair when parents decide on their behalf – or make decisions for them that they’d don’t agree with .   Remember this.    They love you.     They have ver serious and personal choices they make  that will become yours to carry but if you let kindness and gratitude, respect for what they do to help you in life, to keep you safe, to keep you educated and grow in a world that is not always fair or easy, if you value the love given and build upon it you will live a more happy and beautiful life.   We will always be a part of your story,    The role may be different for now, and since non of us knows what tomorrow brings you may not see great grandparents before they pass – who knows who will be there when the day comes that you can have both your parents and other family in your life … no matter when, no matter what happens.   KNOW THAT LOVE KINDNESS RESPECT AND GRATITUDE WILL BREED HAPPINESS AND WE ALWAYS LOVE YOU TO THE MOON and BACK

FOREVER AND FOR ALWAYS

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?