Dear Guillianna and Elijah

We as your grandparents, had for over nine years, been given the opportunity/GIFT to help Mom and Dad care for you both.  It was an honor and privilege for us.  It allowed you to have a stable home life and family all around you both- during the years of active duty assignments, deployments and other circumstances that occurred in these past years.   Once daddy left the Army you were both able to go live full-time with Mom and Dad.    They want to make you happy and for your family to grow together and love life. They have their ideas of how they want it to be and as your parents they have the right to “remove people from your life” as they choose. They don’t want you to be as attached to us as you both were in the past and they have their own perspective on how best to accomplish that .

 In doing so they have made some big decisions and they have changed all contact information and disconnected from many people.  Great Grandparents and siblings, and us – your mom’s own parents, your cousins, their own nieces and nephews, friends and family who have supported your mom through out her entire life .     That decision has affected so many people and  removed any ability to see or communicate with you both, as we all once did.   Should they continue this desire to isolate themselves and you kids from those you became so close to, to prevent or hinder you from talking to so many people who have loved you all,  in the family, over these next months and or years as they have for the past six months (when this was drafted), please know we love you and never would we have chosen this.   As small children it is impossible to understand – since we as adults cannot understand it either.

No matter what happens, Nana and Poppy will always be who you remember us  to be.  The stories in this journal, the memories, are real and wonderful, and you have both had a truly wonderful foundational start in life.   The memories will hopefully stay within your hearts and help you.   We have prepared for you a special digital package, when you are older, should you want to know The story of your life – the journey Poppy and I took to bring your mom to be our daughter – any details we have,  will be shared with you and all everything we can do to help you comprehend what is so incomprehensible,  will be available for you to see.   We hope for you to have peace and answer any questions that tell you the complete story of our family, the adoption of all the beautiful children by Poppy- and his dreams to be a dad, a Poppy and how he loves to share in the lives of family.  The dreams of a Nana who also shares his dreams and truly believes in love and honesty.  The words and photos in this journal are a  true honest historical  portfolio, there are a multitude of documents, various records, legal, medical and other personal background, and most important, some truly amazing memories to support all that is the history of your time with us, and to clarify the details of how you came to be Americans, and our grandchildren.  There is this amazing true story of the lives of your Aunts and Uncle, as children, teens, and then growing into adults.  Memories of the life we experienced as our family grew and that can hopefully help you feel all you have been missing.  Our kids now having  families of their own,  bringing to you, your cousins and new uncles and aunts that they have married.   These facts and the supportive documents we have  , the  entire story , may help you understand why your lives have been impacted in the way that they have.  The facts and details have been accumulated over the many years, the years we invested ourselves into a dream that love would bind us all.  We loved them all and nurtured with all our hearts, what has been our greatest dream.  Yet as your mom once said to you, when you asked her about PTSD that one day last year when the 5th grade did a presentation about it …. , you had asked her if daddy had PTSD… and she said “we are not able to know, help or control, predict or understand what is in the mind of another”. We cannot answer to you what is the strategy they feel so intent upon, we simply want to make sure you know we did not abandon you as grandparents ! Not ever !

When you’re old enough this will hold so many answers and validation that all you feel inside and how you were torn apart from what you knew to be real and true, to ever imagine it was less than good and full of love.   The hope is you will always know your heart was right, and you coped with a horrible loss as best you could, of no fault of your own.   Nana and Poppy have Legal documents and childhood records that tell the story should you ever need understanding- It is our hope that all we have saved and prepared in our lives, will help you cope with the events that have recently  dictated the path and choices that have been made for you and your brother. It will allow you to see how your story began, and how our lives are forever connected.   As you grow, you will make your own lives, your own dreams, your own decisions and all we dreamed  is your heritage too, a sort of history, of all the grandchildren who have come to be, and for great grandchildren in the future… the story is special, good and will hopefully continue to grow and evolve.  It is always so important to be able to find answers to questions you may have, and realize you are a part of a great love story.   You are the sunshine in our hearts, as are all the grandchildren.  They are the hope for a wonderful tomorrow.   Guillianna, being the oldest grandchild, will likely get the opportunity first, and we know it will be hard for you to feel as though the need for truth, is a conflict that can hurt another, so there is no question that peace and happiness is the priority and we will do our best to ensure, regardless of your age be it after high school, or college, or when your parents yourselves, we will have done what we could to preserve the joys, the love and the pure good that your place in our lives has, and always will have.   The information as it pertains to your lives, and the other grandchildren will be here for both Guge and Eli as well as our children, and theirs,  when they are old enough and want to know the history of their lives, and the journey that began long ago – it is available..

The love letters written to you now, at ages 9 and 6, when you were moved,  (and over time in the future) have been geared to ensure you are aware of the simple truth, the fact that we ? love you both so much . We understand and know you ARE AMAZING KIDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A VERY DIFFICULT SITUATION, and WE KNOW that you love to make everyone happy.  The current love letters are geared to keep you in touch with all of us. To feel connection and loved. One day if you should want more information – here is where you will find it.  Or the actual paper files are and will be kept by Poppy and are part of our estate documents.

We are grandparents who have always helped and supported both of you – and your mom and dad in this journey and hope you’ll know we will always love you .

Until then,  it’s our hope that you both will work very hard at school, be kind , good and respectful. That above all you will love with all your heart and stay strong.    Never forget – we never left or willingly turned away from you or your brother.    Know we will continue to ask to come there to see you,  to FaceTime or talk on the phone, to send cards, invite you all for visits – anything at all, AT ANY TIME – WE WANT to share in your lives as grandparents.  The door is always open and our hearts are always with you.

Take good care of each other and your mom and dad.   Be healthy and happy …. Up until December 2017-  when you left,  and for all the years before that we saw two very happy little kids-  for nine and six years. Those memories cannot be changed. Those facts will always be truths.

These love letters,  carry a promise, a promise that will not be misrepresented or distorted, simply facts for you to see for yourselves.  It shows the promises made to our children, and all we did for our dreams to grow.  We promised ourselves to always put our best efforts , and kindness first, we believe that in this life we have to try our best. That is what we have done for your mom and dad, and for you, our special little grandchildren. There will be no need for you to ever wonder, no question to remain unanswered about our intent and our heartfelt purposes. It contains a message that we hope helps you heal any hurt that exists in your hearts over the changes that were not in your power as small children. This is set for you  – so that no matter what the future brings, your Nana and Poppy will always put love, the desire to be the best we can be for all our grandchildren, first.

All our love,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

forever and always,

Nana and Popppy❤️