Dear Guillianna and Elijah
We as your grandparents, had for over nine years, been given the opportunity/GIFT to help Mom and Dad care for you both. It was an honor and privilege for us. It allowed you to have a stable home life and family all around you both- during the years of active duty assignments, deployments and other circumstances that occurred in these past years. Once daddy left the Army you were both able to go live full-time with Mom and Dad. They want to make you happy and for your family to grow together and love life. They have their ideas of how they want it to be and as your parents they have the right to “remove people from your life” as they choose. They don’t want you to be as attached to us as you both were in the past and they have their own perspective on how best to accomplish that .
In doing so they have made some big decisions and they have changed all contact information and disconnected from many people. Great Grandparents and siblings, and us – your mom’s own parents, your cousins, their own nieces and nephews, friends and family who have supported your mom through out her entire life . That decision has affected so many people and removed any ability to see or communicate with you both, as we all once did. Should they continue this desire to isolate themselves and you kids from those you became so close to, to prevent or hinder you from talking to so many people who have loved you all, in the family, over these next months and or years as they have for the past six months, please know we love you and never would we have chosen this. As small children it is impossible to understand – since we as adults cannot understand it either.
No matter what happens, Nana and Poppy will always be who you remember us to be. The stories in this journal, the memories, are real and wonderful, and you have both had a truly wonderful foundational start in life. The memories will hopefully stay within your hearts and help you. We have prepared for you a special digital package, when you are older, should you want to know The story of your life – the journey Poppy and I took to bring your mom to be our daughter – any details we have, this page will open for you and all its contents will be available for you to see. It will have the complete story of our family, the adoption of all the beautiful children by Poppy- and his dreams to be a dad, a Poppy and how he loves to share in the lives of family. The dreams of a Nana who also shares his dreams and truly believes in love and honesty. The page that will open when you are older, is a true and honest historical portfolio, it includes a multitude of documents, various records, legal, medical and other personal background, and most important, some truly amazing memories. It is the story of the lives of your Aunts and Uncle, as children, teens, and then growing into adults. Memories of the life we experienced as our family grows… our kids now having families of their own, bringing to you, your cousins and new uncles and aunts that they have married. These facts and documents , the story , may help you understand why your lives have been impacted in the way that they have. The facts and documents within this special letter have been accumulated over the many years, the years we invested ourselves into a dream that love would bind us all. We loved them all and nurtured with all our hearts, what has been our greatest dream. Yet as your mom once said to you, when you asked her about PTSD that one day last year when the 5th grade did a presentation about it …. , you had asked her if daddy had PTSD… and she said “we are not able to know, help or control, predict or understand what is in the mind of another”. We cannot answer to you what is the strategy they feel so intent upon, we simply want to make sure you know we did not abandon you as grandparents ! Not ever !
When you’re old enough this particular love letter will open and you will be given a digital copy of all we have. Legal documents and childhood records that tell the story – It is our hope that it will help you cope with the events that have recently dictated the path and choices that have been made for you and your brother in these recent months. It will allow you to see how your story began, and how our lives are forever connected. As you grow, you will make your own lives, your own dreams, your own decisions and this special love letter is your heritage too, for the story of your being here, of all the grandchildren who have come to be, and for great grandchildren in the future… the story is special, good and will hopefully continue to grow and evolve. It is always so important to be able to find answers to questions you may have, and realize you are a part of a great love story. You are the sunshine in our hearts, as are all the grandchildren. They are the hope for a wonderful tomorrow. You being the oldest grandchild, will get this information as it pertains to your lives, and the other grandchildren will follow when they are old enough and want to know the history of their lives, and the journey that began long ago.
The love letters written to you now, presently at ages 9 and 6, (and over time in the future) have been geared to ensure you are aware of the simple truth, the fact that we ? love you both so much . We understand and know you ARE AMAZING KIDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A VERY DIFFICULT SITUATION, and WE KNOW that you love to make everyone happy. The current love letters are geared to keep you in touch with all of us. To feel connection and loved. One day if you should want more information – here is where you will find it. Or the actual paper files are and will be kept by Poppy and are part of our estate documents.
We are grandparents who have always helped and supported both of you – and your mom and dad in this journey and hope you’ll know we will always love you .
Until then, it’s our hope that you both will work very hard at school, be kind , good and respectful. That above all you will love with all your heart and stay strong. Never forget – we never left or willingly turned away from you or your brother. Know we will continue to ask to come there to see you, to FaceTime or talk on the phone, to send cards, invite you all for visits – anything at all, AT ANY TIME – WE WANT to share in your lives as grandparents. The door is always open and our hearts are always with you.
Take good care of each other and your mom and dad. Be healthy and happy …. Up until December 2017- when you left, and for all the years before that we saw two very happy little kids- for nine and six years. Those memories cannot be changed. Those facts will always be truths.
This last love letter that opens in your future carries a promise, a promise that will not be misrepresented or distorted, simply facts for you to see for yourselves. It shows the promises made to our children, and all we did for our dreams to grow. We promised ourselves to always put our best efforts , and kindness first, we believe that in this life we have to try our best. That is what we have done for your mom and dad, and for you, our special little grandchildren. There will be no need for you to ever wonder, no question to remain unanswered about our intent and our heartfelt purposes. It contains a message that we hope helps you heal any hurt that exists in your hearts over the changes that were not in your power as small children. This is set for you – so that no matter what the future brings, your Nana and Poppy will always put love, the desire to be the best we can be for all our grandchildren, first.
All our love,
forever and always,
Nana and Popppy❤️
How long since we have seen your faces?
A Love Story –
New Love Letters!
This site was originally written when Guillilanna was born. During her parents deployment and training, we would keep Guillianna in the Mitten. Then Elijah was born and he too was a frequent flyer to the Mitten. They lived with us on and off for nine years. Over the last deployment to Korea and during the past three years where in the kids lived with us for three consecutive years, the internet and this site was not really used to communicate with their parents, FACETIME was quick and easy. Their dad recently got out of the Army and they were relocated. We have not seen or talked with Eli or Guillianna for months. Last we saw them on FaceTime was May 2018. Last we held them December 2017, just after Christmas. Yet the reality is THIS IS NOT ABOUT just OUR BROKEN HEARTS- it is about theirs, ours and our entire family! for these kids who are so small and innocent, they have had a major change in thier lives. It is our hope that the journaling of our time together, and the and the new love letters for them will one day allow them to truly know the depth of love we ALL here in the Mitten have for them.
This site is also a special gift for our daughter, it documents all kinds of small details and images for her to keep, love and enjoy! These memories encompass nine and six years of the lives of her children! A true gift, that one day she may actually appreciate and have gratitude for. She doesn’t think of us as her parents at present, but maybe in the future, she will sit and reflect on all these memories, maybe she will see the love and dedication that she herself was given because of our love for her. If not, this journal, can hopefully one day allow Guillianna and Elijah to see and feel the truth, the love, and they will realize the amazing impact they have had on all of us here in the Mitten, and they will feel the love of all those who they spent their lives with, before embarking on the new journey they have begun. Friends, family alike have shared in nearly a decade of thier lives and all wish for the family to be happy. If it is a parents right and philosophy to “cut people out of your life like a kindergartener cuts out paper snowflakes” and raise their children to feel the same, this new set of love letters are written with the hope that in time the innocent will feel the love they HAVE always had, and the love they can ALWAYS carry it with them.
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