Dear Guillianna and Elijah –
It was so sad that your parents didn’t make the trip in for great Grandma’s 90th birthday. They did not call, did not text, did not RSVP, did not send a card. This has been the same pattern for every holiday, every birthday, every single day. The reality is you will not get the opportunity to share in your family, at any level, because determinations they make on your behalf. As parents are priveleged to do, to protect their children, it seems they have themselves make clear that you will not love, you will not see, you will not have any family that they do not choose for you. Yet without cause. No justification, no rationale, no one deserved any of this, yet it seems that regardless of whether or not you deseved this, whether it was right or wrong to deny you the family love, the family connection, or if it made you happy, whether or not ‘family matters’, or if having all of us to share in your lives had any value, the fact remains, if they don’t ever want to acknowledge the value of us as parents and mom’s grandparents, you certainly will not have that gift in your lives either. None of the Michigan family is deserving of such unkindness, such lack of emotion, and disconnect. None of them. But, the idea that you have parents who believe as they do, you now too, must”cut people out of your life like a kindergartener cuts out paper snowflakes”. You would have loved dancing to Mr.Josh and seeing all your cousins. Being with all the family you love so much or once loved so much. It’s hard for us to know what has been said to you both, or how you have had to alter the feelings inside to win the approval and support you deserve from parents. We can’t imagine what you would or could be thinking, where everyone disappeared to, why you don’t hear from any one – what could you possibly be told to imagine not seeing speaking or being able to have a relationship with those you loved for nine and six years. It is especially sad for the great grandparents who are far more adeptat un derstanding, and wise to know the importance of close families, the value of human life, and the ability to attatch, love and respect others, they believe in families and and support of each other. They have always seen to making sure all their children and grandchildren were a priority in their lives. And this entire matter, is beyond difficult for them- to know how truly hurtful it has been to everyone. has not mattered to those who cut people out of their lives and are proud of it, as if it were a badge of honor, and a character building trait to be proud of ! In life there are all kinds of people, and all kinds of families, all kinds of beliefs, and all kinds of philosophical ideals. The idea that you have people in this world who love you, who have always loved you, who wish you to know that your existance is more than words can express. To help you dream, to help you grow, to help you learn, to help teach you kindness, love, gratitude. These will always be the values and principles Poppy and Nana were raised to believe in, and they are the values we will always have. Not everyone can agree upon what is important in life, but they can have respect for all those around them, and look to see what is the good, find the gratitude and build lives that respect those who have been significant in their lives. We hope you will always have love, kindness, gratitude for your mom and dad. Learn from all things in your life, the good, and the things that have been painful. This for us, for all of us in the Mitten has been painful beyond anything we could ever write. We will always hope for a better tomorrow.
Memories flood in every day- and I have made pages on this site that are private and cannot be opened by the public. You will one day be able to sift through all of the pages and piece together the broken hearts that are yours now, by no choice of your own.
The lovely memories and pieces of history the facts and the truths will continue to be preserved and will unlock your past when your older and we will hope that some time soon your mom will realize that her parents are not disposable- are not dispensable – so worthless that one can simply to toss aside and be treated worse than if they were nothing more than criminals . For in these kind of examples, in those actions, she is also teaching you both how to treat those who provide shelter and raise you, those who work hard and try their very best to ensure safety and love , she is teaching you how you should trust, honor, respect and love, and is doing so in her own actions by her own example. Childhood trauma is as real for you now as it was for her. Displaced, taken from all you knew, and now are never allowed to see or speak to , to have been removed from anyone and every one you loved in the Mitten. Possibly even being told we are bad, or did something bad, possibly needing to feel that if you did say and feel as if being in the Mitten was bad , that somehow you’ll be loved more, or please the people all children look to please. To want to feel safe and secure and loved is your right and your fear of losing that by telling anyone you wish to have us in your lives is likely very real. We understand – we want you to feel love , joy, be happy in all your school events and extracurricular things. We want you to know we are cheering you on. In sports or dance or with your academics. We will always be your greatest cheerleaders as is everyone in your family. All wishing good- all hoping for resolve- all wanting you to feel connected, loved and that you CAN trust. ITS TRULY SAD, To prove to you we are not able to be trusted , to make you feel why didn’t we come see you, why didn’t we fight to keep contact , to make you feel as though this was by our choice or our doing … that may be what you’re facing. This love letter is to say … for a fact, we WANT TO SEE YOU, we will always love you , we want you happy, we want you grow and live happy, we want you to have two loving parents and also to be allowed to have interaction with all the family that has always loved you ! No one , no distortions , no contortion of fact, or mind game will ever change the reality of the documents, the love letters, both public and personal …. nothing !
We love you both from here to the moon and back –
forever and for always,
XOXOXOXOXOXO
❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?