Dear Guillianna and Elijah –
These photos and letters tell a story. Not a “sob story” . Not a fiction tale, but a love story. The story of us, our lives have been a journey. It’s a story of how Nana and Poppy love you and have every hope and dream that you will both be healthy and happy, yesterday, today and for all of your tomorrows. Your Nana and Poppy started our lives together with hope and a truly special love that has brought us and others so much, It has brought good, wonderful happiness and joy – yes there has been – so much sorrow and unhappiness too. Life is full of so many things , during your time In the Mitten you both learned to crawl, to walk, to talk, to play, color, write, read …. and you learned so much about how love felt and somewhere inside if it isn’t manipulated or brainwashed away, you both know who we as your grandparents are, what we meant to you and how you felt when with us. There is much you will forget about us if it is continued to be forbidden to see or speak to us , but there is much you will remember. How you remember it, will be of critical importance to each of your futures. As history has taught us – the traumas of loss and no ability to control events, the trauma of love that is taken or trust issues that develope when events change the trajectory of a life, can be defining to one’s entire life, this much we have learned unequivocally. The consequence of living so much of your younger years with us is that you were very attached to so many people, and now you no longer see or speak to any of them. That loss and the influence that once had and has now been perceived as that we are someone bad enough to warrant such drastic measure, the idea that your time spent here was bad, all has the potential to be a be huge detriment. In the initial months when you left the Mitten we had hoped that with some time things could change and your family would bond and see the wonderful things your grandparents are for you and during the years we helped . And to be honest , we will always hope for things to change toward love and kindness respect and civility. We know that with time all things change, people grow and experiences change them, and some people are able to let change create positive results. That is what we hope can happen and that the good and work memories of your lives in the Mitten can facilitate good positive and nurturing results. When disharmony and animosity, anger, jealousy and hate take over feelings of appreciation, love, respect, kindness, and the desire or willingness to seek out those things in your life – the happiness you can feel is significantly limited. Life is full of all kinds of obstacles some of which could be physical, some are emotional and some are even self inflicted. If you tell yourself you cannot, or believe you cannot, it is likely you won’t . If you tell yourself you can, or believe you can – the likelihood of achieving greatly improves . Positivity and gratitude are so important. When things are not as we hoped they could be, when things go wrong or we feel our efforts were not enough, we can give in to sorrow. We can give in to defeated dreams or we can realize that our belief in ourselves, our goals, our hopes and dreams are not ever completed or finished. They evolve and adapt. Even in coping with the loss of our own daughter, her life has tremendous value and can inspire others to not follow the fate she met. Her loss could bring the reality of what drugs can do to a life front and center to all in our family to all her siblings and nieces and nephews, rather than having been just words they once heard or were forewarned of, they have seen the outcome of choices that bring destruction. Even in the loss of relationships – choices made, where disharmony and discord have negated all that was positive, we can hope for lessons learned.
We know that people will say and tell you as you grow an impression or opinion of what was for them – and for every story told there will be a side you may not be able to hear or see until you’re older. You may not have all the necessary pieces to make sense of it all as children but when older you just may find all things in life much better when we choose to love, be kind , have respect, and be grateful. Your mom and dad believed that your lives are better lived without the attachment of the family here. That is their right, As an unrelated example of a parental right, some people raise children to believe in Islam, other in Judaism and others in Christianity as well as many other religions across the globe. Each parent has the right to raise a child how they feel is best for their family and how they may believe themselves. There are different Opinions on most everything in life and there are often more than one solution to every problem- and usually we have freedom to choose the solution or path that suits us best. These letters are written, and photos preserved, to say that full perspective is very important. It is possible for people to have beliefs that differ, yet still have respect for others opinions. To coexist in a diverse world and to recognize that even with differences there are common bonds. Nana and Poppy, the lives they lived, the decisions and choices they made, impacted lives of our parents, people around us, our children, their own children. Without love between us, the children of our lives, their children, and their future children , would not have a beginning. Origin – it’s the most basic fact of what family and life is. There is no question that genetics is one aspect of family. For The purpose of this particular love letter we want to talk not about eye color or genetic code, but rather what family means in the world of adoption, such as my own – family means that I have had a mother and father who love me, they provided for me, when I was in an orphanage, they came to me and chose me to love as their daughter. Through their efforts I was given the life I have had and for that I am and always will be grateful. I was given the opportunity that I would not have otherwise had. My childhood was not without complication and imperfection. Yet it is not the complications, issues or imperfections that I choose to live my life by, it is the good, the love, the kindness I was taught through all these years that I choose – it is good and love that leads me. It is said that the choice to believe in jealousy, or what wasn’t , to let insecurities dictate, or let the choice to live each day with anger and hate- hurts those around you and most of all it hurts yourself. What is often a starting point of self preservation is ultimately isolation, then, when love is not seen, when gratitude is not known, when hate controls and happiness from the soul and it will diminish joy , eventually it consumes and eventually it paves the way for a life of distrust and missed opportunities to share love with family and provide a genuine sense of foundational love. If someone never has felt that, it is hard to make it understood as having any value. Yet it does – it has great value and always will. One day the love your mom and dad have for you will be for you as an adult irreplaceable and have value beyond words. That is – and always was the kind of love we have had for our family. To love, to trust, to give of self are all qualities that are within each of us.
In our own dreams, we hoped we would be very active in your lives. A winter break at school would bring visits or summer vacation – it’s all we ever imagined and all we ever knew for a very long time. The course taken in recent months leads us to believe that will no longer be the case. What we do have is hope. Hope for you to live happily. To grow and remember love, feel loved by so many and trust that in time you will choose to live in gratitude for what is not spite or anger if what you imagined I’d thought was fair or right. Most kids from time to time don’t think it’s fair when parents decide on their behalf – or make decisions for them that they’d don’t agree with . Remember this. They love you. They have ver serious and personal choices they make that will become yours to carry but if you let kindness and gratitude, respect for what they do to help you in life, to keep you safe, to keep you educated and grow in a world that is not always fair or easy, if you value the love given and build upon it you will live a more happy and beautiful life. We will always be a part of your story, The role may be different for now, and since non of us knows what tomorrow brings you may not see great grandparents before they pass – who knows who will be there when the day comes that you can have both your parents and other family in your life … no matter when, no matter what happens. KNOW THAT LOVE KINDNESS RESPECT AND GRATITUDE WILL BREED HAPPINESS AND WE ALWAYS LOVE YOU TO THE MOON and BACK
FOREVER AND FOR ALWAYS
XOXOXOXOXOXO
❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?