Going on a “special”…

Nana January 3, 2019 0Comments

 Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

While we cannot begin to imagine how hard it has been on you without seeing us, or how sad it made you to have felt that you must choose, or even what could possibly have been said to you that could make your hearts ♥️ no longer wish to see or hear from people you simply loved being with ( if that is even true)  … we do hope you can rest assured knowing that we know you are strong and brave and you will always have memories of wonderful experiences.

Guillianna loved this outfit.  She had one in black and one in white .   Maybe you Guge will remember this trip to Indianapolis for cheerleading.    You loved that activity more than words could say the smile on your face at the end of each practice or competition was priceless.    You were so proud to have learned so many things and looked so forward to it.    The time spent supporting you in this was so worth the happiness it brought you.      You had the biggest cheering section for sure !     You were able to make your whole team smile from your passion for it and the Sparklers left a great deal of fun  memories in your heart I am sure.   We traveled so many places and had so much fun.    Eli was so excited to cheer you on and for his time with us while you were involved with it, and to hang with Liam as well as getting to travel to Disney with the team !  OH MY HOW WE  Love ❤️ this face and the wonderful and loving person inside –  who always  loved being with her Nana and Poppy!

It’s told to us that you don’t want to see or talk to us now ( again we don’t really know this to be what you say, what you think, what you feel must be … we simply do not know or understand , since last we saw your face in May, you were begging to FaceTime Poppy) and for whatever has been told to you to make your sweet hearts so unhappy — ( if that is the case ?), we are at a loss.    Maybe it’s simply easier on you knowing there is so much unhappiness toward us  resulting from the many years you lived in the Mitten, or that you have felt  there is no way to cope,  or possibly you have been told untruths to make you hurt, or maybe you hurt that we have not been able to help you during this time .  Or maybe a combination of things ? We truly don’t know and no matter what the case may be we are worried for you, for our daughter who has allowed this to happen, or succumb to something that has allowed her to regress into isolation of some sort- it is all just so unfathomable !     No matter what  the reason for this dysfunctional situation to have evolved, we write this letter of love to ensure  that your real and true memories – the actual facts of your first early years of life – are  preserved.   If you wish we had been able to prevent this “cold turkey”  withdrawal you’ve felt  from all that you ever knew as home, we will forever be sorry that you both were not allowed to keep your relationships or belongings and that you’re entire lives felt uprooted.    We are so sorry for that beyond words – and never imagined this being the result of our promises to your mom and to you both.    Again, as I have said in letters passed, there is no way for us to undo the decisions of others, and each person has an opinion or right to believe in what they think is best.    The only hope we as your grandparents have is that their children will see that the love and support given for all your lives were good, out of love, and have value.   That family is a gift  in our opinion but others may not agree and when it comes to children, the parents make that choice.    This photo of Guillianna is indicative of how every single person in the Mitten,  knowing her,  would say accurately depicts her day to day life!   Happy, positive, upbeat, caring, genuine and always close to her Nana!    Maybe the song “where ever you go what ever you do” that was sung feels like we are not together but we are – we are both feeling loss deeper than the deepest part of the ocean and sadness, frustration and confusion at this situation .   “What ever you do, we’re going to do it together”.   “Through thick and through thin all out or all in” you’d sing it with me.  And it’s possible you could feel I let you down, that I didn’t do something to make mom keep the promise you’d be back in two weeks or keep the promos you can call or try to stop the way the reintegration and slow down or minimize the drastic way the change  back into your lives with mom and dad took place, and you were just so small to be able to know the truth behind  how we will always have a connection in your heart regardless of what has been said or how this was handled.   Elijah and you both have huge portion pretty much every part of your lives until last January 1 2018  that was good, wonderful,  special and beyond happy.    There was and is no need to cloud it, to falsify or misinterpret in order to build the family relationships that were desired, but it is how it was chosen to be done.  No attachment for you as children  translated to instantaneous bond most likely.   Together,  we endure the decisions respect that they are made from unusual and difficult  circumstances.   Not how we would have chosen and not our right to decide this for you.   Nothing however will change the actual days and nights spent over nine years time to be anything less than the gift they were.     These snapshots into past will hopefully allow you to both know you had an amazing and fun ride, and not a sad childhood.

This is Elijah with Nana and Poppy on a “special”.    So often we had “specials”.  We used to go to hotels and get a room just to swim !     This was always so much fun !    Poppy and Nana would love the smiles and laughter and we did this when ever we could to brighten up a winter day or cool off a hot summer one!    Room service was a favorite for both of you.   From all areas of the Mitten to Pittsburgh and Chicago, Indianapolis, Florida and  Washington too!   We had so many fun times and the thousands of photos will help you see that the heart can see and remember things that words cannot change.    There never will be nor was there ever a time that your Nana and Poppy ever wanted sorrow for you, our intent was to share in your amazing lives, to help our daughter when ever and how ever she asked us to help her, to be the best Nana and Poppy we could be and love with all our heart and soul!

We love you both to the moon and back,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

A photo, a story …

Nana January 2, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Every photo has a story and oh my goodness do we have a lot of photos … if we can tell you about the photos it will help you to remember things.     The story or time gone by and so much love … the drawing made in this list was made by Guillianna it was a self portrait of Gugu and “mynana”  the two words you used to say together so often they became one !   Always playing with toys when you were small and I would be making dinner for the family , but stopping everything to tell everyone, “I have to go see mynana” , then returning to play after helping me in the kitchen for a second.    I am pretty sure when your love for helping in the kitchen sparked ,

 This was our THIRD visit with Guillianna, we had flown in the day she was born, and mommy brought her to the Mitten when she was just days old for some extra help that moms sometimes need after a baby is born – she then  for you to see dad, and to pack up for you to come to the Mitten for a year ,   This photo came when they had already left for the Land of Sand and this website began.  It was just before Valentine’s  Day ! The love letters we wrote are still on this site,   We tried so hard to keep your mom and dad  connected during a time that there was no FaceTime no real way to communicate – we even installed a camera so they could see you sleeping on Skype  or some sort of internet based link

Nana and Poppy travel to meet Elijah

This photo is of Poppy holding you when you came home from the hospital .   Dad was in Afghanistan and mom had been in the hospital trying to wait as long as she could to meet you since you were so tiny .   We had Guillianna with us in the Mitten while mommy was on strict bed rest.   You were in a hurry to meet everyone and came super early.   Mom was able to stay with you and help you to get big enough and ready to come home.    Once she got you there we came and you got to meet your sister and your Nana and Poppy !  From this moment you worked so hard to grow and mommy was able to stay in the stares and be with you for a while.   You then visited the Mitten  and went between the army base and camp just like your sister and eventually learned to talk and walk in the Mitten !   Can still remember how you loved repeating words and how you held ont to the back of Guillianna and walked while she peddled through the house on her tricycle taking you from first steps to a run !   So many fun memories !

We have always been such a huge part of your lives, and we love you both to the moon and back ,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

JANUARY 1, 2019

Nana January 1, 2019 0Comments

WISHING YOU A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR

Dear Guillianna and Elijah:

It is January 1, 2019  at midnight, just a quick short note to say – you’re in our hearts and thoughts as 2019 rolls in…  and as a brand new year begins – we are wishing you all – the very best year.  There is a very old song that is traditionally sung at midnight – it’s about Kindness, love, old friends and forever love about how time fades memories and yet it doesn’t – there are some things that lay deep within the soul and Poppy and I believe that despite the truly horribly sad situation brought about by any untruths or your having  to disassociate yourselves from such significant bonds in your lives – we have to hope and believe that beneath the surface the old feelings and love will emerge and your memories will rise up and help you understand that the love that exists, it  is true and real … tonight as I listened to that song and our hearts break for two little ones who always would have wanted to see us or wish us Merry Christmas or happy New Year … please know we understand and only want you to be happy.    There will be a day or a time when you will be able to love both of us, love your parents, and not feel sorrow or loss.    You will not ever lose the love of ay of the people you have shared your lives with.   So we  added a short post to say we love you both.  We send you both kisses at midnight from the Mitten ?  .   We will remember truth , and the truth is always going to be the truth – it has not been fair to you and if we could have helped this situation we would have but we did our very best to love, nurture, help.   The saddest pet is the love you had and felt was removed without any regard for long term effects upon little souls and these letters of love are only words but they are from the heart and meant to heal and help you see that you had the best nine years, they were happy, they were healthy, they were designed to help your mom to get through school and assignments for work, to help both parents when they needed it.   The need to create new memories for you did not ever need to exclude past ones from our perspective but  as grandparents it is not up to us.   What is up to us, is that we find some way to let you know that  we are wishing you a very happy healthy new year!  We hope you will experience love laughter happiness not only today but every day.   We are hopeful you will not ever forget the love that is the from the Mitten.  The love from so many who only want you to both to be healthy happy and that you know and feel our love. We hope you will have so many smiles and so much fun and spread the kindness and love you have always shown us.  The dedication to you both  and your mom was all encompassing and did not ever waver .   We will not waiver in our love ❤️ and we will hope that one day your parents who love you so very much will see that the love and care you’ve always known was true had value and helped to nurture the amazing individuals you are !

We love you to the moon and back,

Forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?