Endless love ❤️

Nana March 15, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Hopefully you have had an excellent fourth and first grade year.  Crazy to think that it is coming to a close  pretty soon.  We are hopeful you have continued to love school and learned so many new things !   The end of a school years  makes me think of the letters Poppy and Nana would write to each of you at the end of each school year.  We gave them to mom , and  Mom was supposed to be saving them for you.    Hopefully that will be a promise kept.   The love letters for now will be sent via this site will one day eventually they will  get to you, and you’ll know the how proud we are of all you do.     The academic success and the personal victories you experience  not only in this year, but through the future will be many and our hearts are with you all along the way.   You  will learn that you’ll both be rewarded by your own efforts and  self worth.

We may not be able to see, or are not “allowed” to know how amazing you two are doing in the present moment but believe in this, we we do know YOU,   for the reality is that for all but these past  months of your lives,  we have watched aided and grew with you , every step of your lives.  We were able to bond with you as you grew in our home, and yes you were both happy, full of laughter and had so much fun .   The mere idea that any person ever would twist or turn that into something less is beyond sad. We have to believe  It has happened without full understanding of what this kind of elimination and manipulative action will do to your minds in the future.   The reality is history has proven that emotional withdrawal has the potential to  carry with it life long trauma without given the knowledge, tools or understanding that are needed to cope.    We continue to hope somehow that your memories will not  be altered to believe you were unhappy.   It is possible to love and respect your mom and dad, to understand they had been gone so long and simply wanted very much to reconnect and bond with their children, as well as have us as grandparents in your lives.    We will always believe  that seeing the love you had for us as your grandparents must have been somehow very threatening to them, enough so that the fear it created , allowed the events of these past months to ever happen .

It will eventually be clear to you and hopefully them,  that what they have chosen as an acceptable way to behave to your family, your parents, and every single relative in the family, to cut people out of your life,  because somehow they all so bad so evil so worthless that you are justified in treating them as if they are meaningless?    Is not what they would want you to do with them , so the only way to make it seem justified is to say we somehow deserve it.      This was so unnecessary- the truth will always be , that letting you have a Nana and Poppy in your lives was a good joyful and valuable, special time.    To actually have value  for people who have dedicated themselves to the lives of others , is a foreign concept for some.    The concept  that for a time you were able to enjoy as much as humanly possible the days and nights spent for nine( and six) years, in their absence , could one day become a reality.  Yes it would take a great deal if helo maturity and counsel likely but to believe the heart of a traumatized child, can be healed is even more important than ever !    Since the day we adopted our children, we hoped that the childhood trauma could be healed, that children who had no control over their lives, lost people they loved and grew up around, family friends and the people who cared for them and raised them for many years, all disappeared from their lives – and the legacy of that trauma is beyond anything my words could ever do justice to.  We will hope for our children to learn before more pain and sorrow consumes future adult lives.

We will hope   that he honest and true idea of how we as mommy’s  parents tried to help her,  could eventually set in.   She could learn  it was a wonderful time for you both,   to have special memories and life long love and support from your grandparents and every single person around you that supported her service /duty.    The fact that your mom was fulfilling this duty she contracted to do, her promise to keep you in the best possible school for as long as she could move you as little as possible , to provide you medical insurance, the love of family and that our extended family would  all surround you, and provide you the opportunity for a college education, is all true ….. and we honored that 100 percent .  They contracted to do a job for the Army , mom always  kept the promises made to serve and provide for you, we were fortunate to be able to help her and serve you both and help provide as well,  as much as we could,  to give you everything possible as your grandparents –  for many years .    We dedicated ourselves 100 percent to  all of you .   It was NOT ever bad, OR unhappy, it was never unkind and it was absolutely … NOT  wrong for you to love us how you did, and not wrong to love the life you had in the Mitten.    There was no reason for you to ever feel you had to choose between pleasing mom and dad to dislike or bolster any kind of untruth, and loving your grandparents but yet it seems that is what has happened  –    and for that we will always wish that our own daughter had seen that people in her life have value.    Substantial value.   That turning you both against your childhood is a travesty.      Her own grandparents, her own siblings, her own neices and nephews – how we treat other people is evident through your years . We believe she had pressure  that in your future will be able more clearly see,  her life and events in her life backed her into a choice she made that one day will surely be regrettable for her.    The stories or inuendo – the mind control , To justify this most recent change is your lives,  in you’re not being allowed to talk to us , see us , visit with us,  are the reason we write .    To assure you that we will stand behind the love you’ve felt for us, the love we will always feel for you .   We have no doubt that the truths of who we are and what life was , are or have been redesigned to destroy your bond with us.     Sadly tho there is a consequence The human interactions you have had  all your lives are not tossed aside without significant trauma and our love letters are written to reinforce, and validate the sense of love you always have known from us and these images and words are preserved for you to build upon as adults who will one day try to make sense of all that has been seemingly lost.   Love from us as people who wish you every happiness and opportunity, every dream and many more years  with family and friends, is an emotion that we want you to always know.   We wish life for each of you ,  becomes so more more than you ever imagined.  You will have these words to remind you that we will always be cheering for you to be happy healthy and full of love –  and that the worry you could one day feel for decisions that were made for you , is lifted.   We can not replace what you will have been denied , or heal the heartbreak , but we can tell you how the courage and strength it has taken for you to cope and adapt can be utilized as a positive.

We hope you will one day  read and re read these words.   Take all of the documents we have left for our children and grand children and live the story of love you’ve been granted because people all around you love.     Love will always bring more to your lives than hate ever could.

We love you both to the moon and back ,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Love forever ❤️?

Nana March 13, 2019 0Comments

 Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

With each day that passes we hope you will one day know – we are so very sorry that you’ve not been given the opportunity to see us, or the rest of your family in the Mitten.   It is truly so sad that you have been denied something like family,  those you have always loved or possibly have been swayed to no longer care for anymore –  you’ve been not been given the opportunity to share in the lives of people you loved so much for all of your lives, not your Aunts and Uncles, cousins that you grew up around for your entire lives, not your great grandparents and your Nana and Poppy, the friends who have written you and tried to be pen pals or FaceTime friends  –   No matter what you have been told, or what  it may seem… we are all still loving you both, proud of you both, wishing happiness for you both and imagining and hoping  a wonderful adventure is before you.    That you’ll heal from the trauma of all this and that all of us can one day understand love doesn’t just slip away,  and that the issues that caused all of this sorrow, are not your fault, they are not yours to carry, and we hope they don’t cyclically become your futures.    The in ability to attach,  to trust and love the reasons that others found it necessary to cut out of your lives all the good people you’ve known , in order to know a new life, to adjust to  a new life with dad since he was discharged from  the Army, and we were no longer of use to mom in her absence, are not your issues, yes it impacted your lives but in no way are you to ever feel you could have changed it as children.     You will hopefully keep all the love and happiness inside, you will hopefully remember dancing and laughing and playing, the family gathering and births of cousins, that these joyful memories will help you as you become adults to know that  family is worth keeping, parents are worth loving and you will hopefully grow to be a wonderful aunt or uncle yourselves, you’ll keep your cousins in your lives, you parents will always be respected and treated like parents should be  .      We hope you know this is not your fault that you did nothing wo warrant being hurt by the feelings or misjudgments of others.  We understand it was not fair to either of you and that you will need to one day try to grasp all that has happened in this past year.     It will become a part of your own adulthood , to forgive people for the  denial and life altering decisions that you’ll bear witness to through out your youth  where in so many other children are able to have and enjoy,  but you’ve been denied.   You the dysfunctional environment that has now spread to your lives is not fair and it is a chain that will need to be broken.   One day you will hopefully learn how important mom and dad are to you, that they try to do the very best for you , that your children will benefit from having a Nana and Poppy who will share once the lives of your children… and you  two will not have issues with trust and attachment – but will bond, will love and will have gratitude for the family in your lives.    You may not always agree with the things your mom and dad chose, or how they handled things, but you will stop the cycle and help them see the values that you’ve been denied can and will be present in the lives of future generations should you have kids,  or in how you treat others as adults . Read More

When you miss those you love, where do you go?

Lisa March 7, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah,

We have given so much thought to the reality, the absolute fact, that when we last saw you there was so much love in your hearts, love for us, for everyone in the Mitten, there was so much happiness, laughter and fun every single day, and then as you left there was clearly so many tears, sobbing and so much desire to be in contact; however, now the claim is that you do not want to see your Nana and Poppy.   Verbatim, the reasons for this change in your feelings, we heard months after you left – , is that you were “lied to”, and you were made to “drink vinegar”.  No child,  and I mean no child of ours, no grandchild, was ever made to “drink vinegar”.   Yet, it is evident, that someone has taken minuscule pieces of half truths, and has manipulated  them in such a manner, that it is truly more than just sad , it’s viscous.   These contortions, are and have been leading to the premise, or an inference,  that your grandparents are vile people.   The accusatory nature is reminiscent of a pre teen behaviour once known , something peeveiousky witnessed in our lifetime,  that we had thought was past, and emotions of ore America healed, and youthful tantrums or distrust matured.   When we learned you two would be moving out of the Mitten, it was told to us that the five year plan had to change as there was a support reason that was mandated.   That mom was being forced to move.  That was the initial story we were told after your procedure in late 2017.  It has evolved through the weeks and months since you have left.   There truly is no telling what new turns and what the story will become as the years progress.   It seems that the trauma of youth is still claiming and destroying present day relationships and affecting so many innocent lives.

Suddenly, on this very website not too long ago, the statement, the blame was made that it is the two of you, that do not want to FaceTime.  As factual as the sun rising and setting each day,  during our last conversation you couldn’t wait to call Poppy, and it was utterly clear you wanted to see him, to talk, asking to call, but being denied for it “was 7:30pm and bedtime, you had school” the next morning. ” Can we call on the way to school?” and just like that the call was over and not a word from you two since.   Something is so off, so wrong, and the only thing we can remotely assimilate is that if there is any truth to YOU DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO US, it is that since you have had such drastic change, such loss, and feel we have not been able to help you, that you want so badly to have the approval, love and support of mom and dad, that you know how much dislike and actual hatred existed for Poppy and Nana , that ultimately, for your own emotional survival, you must do what it takes to win emotional security,  or maybe, you have been made to believe we are bad somehow and that we have done something so horrific, that we are unworthy of the common decency or kindness shown to any parent or grandparent.  Maybe it is just too hard for you, and so unfair,  to be in the middle, victims of the polarity, the opposite ends of this spectrum that is not to do with you in any way shape or form.

You’re innocent in all of this, and it is our hope that the feelings of others, will not continue to be projected upon your lives.  You not ever feel badly for not being able to say hi, see us, talk with us, share with us for it is not your fault.   The day all the other grandparents were at your new school, greeting the children, or celebrating grandparents day, the sorrow in your hearts,  the emotional load you carried, memories of the grandparent days with Nana and Poppy at Notre Dame, the burden must have been so great.   Please know,  we were not invited, we did not forget you, please know you must never believe we didn’t care.  Never think we ever have left you by our choice, for we have not.   We cannot fix the broken hearts of children, who never got to hear the words they so needed to hear.   Words like these, words that crossed any distance, and were spoken from the deepest place in the heart, to say “YOU ARE LOVED, AND ALWAYS WILL BE LOVED.”  There was no way for our kids who had lost faith, and felt they could not trust ANYONE, who felt jealous of brothers who never were sent away, and could not communicate how they felt…. these unresolved issues were instrumental in so many preventable events.  We hope that with pieces of truth, and an understanding that every one around you, from your parents to all the family, loves you – the outcome will be adults who can change the patterns, not let historical events repeat themselves, change the outcome with kindness, love and education behind the rock solid foundation you lived for so many years in the Mitten.

We love you both, from here to the moon and back,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Sending ❤️ LOVE!

Nana March 3, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Sending you lots of love today and always.   Hopeful that the weekend was full of laughter and fun.     We are thinking of you and we know youre likely in store for a busy school week ahead.   Make it amazing.   The more you learn the faster you’ll grow and before you know it – you will be teaching others all you’ve learned – and the best part is the whole world will get see you shine !    The love in our hearts will hopefully be felt and something you can always be a source of energy and we will always hope that little piece of happiness that no one can ever remove from your lives.       So stay focused on your reading and your math science and history. All the subject you are learning and blend it with all you learned in the Mitten – all of your life experiences will help you in the days and years to come.   We are so proud of you both.     Always know to ask your teachers for help any time you need it.  They will always look to make sure you understand things and help you when you’re in need.   The Catholic school systems usually seem to have the same protocols, as do public schools where in they has counselors and the administration, like the principle or vice principle who are always there to provide assistance and support.   Never be afraid to follow your heart, and stand up for those who need it, including yourself.  Love you both so much, to the moon and back,

forever and for always

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?