When you miss those you love, where do you go?
Dear Guillianna and Elijah,
We have given so much thought to the reality, the absolute fact, that when we last saw you there was so much love in your hearts, love for us, for everyone in the Mitten, there was so much happiness, laughter and fun every single day, and then as you left there was clearly so many tears, sobbing and so much desire to be in contact; however, now the claim is that you do not want to see your Nana and Poppy. Verbatim, the reasons for this change in your feelings, we heard months after you left – , is that you were “lied to”, and you were made to “drink vinegar”. No child, and I mean no child of ours, no grandchild, was ever made to “drink vinegar”. Yet, it is evident, that someone has taken minuscule pieces of half truths, and has manipulated them in such a manner, that it is truly more than just sad , it’s viscous. These contortions, are and have been leading to the premise, or an inference, that your grandparents are vile people. The accusatory nature is reminiscent of a pre teen behaviour once known , something peeveiousky witnessed in our lifetime, that we had thought was past, and emotions of ore America healed, and youthful tantrums or distrust matured. When we learned you two would be moving out of the Mitten, it was told to us that the five year plan had to change as there was a support reason that was mandated. That mom was being forced to move. That was the initial story we were told after your procedure in late 2017. It has evolved through the weeks and months since you have left. There truly is no telling what new turns and what the story will become as the years progress. It seems that the trauma of youth is still claiming and destroying present day relationships and affecting so many innocent lives.
Suddenly, on this very website not too long ago, the statement, the blame was made that it is the two of you, that do not want to FaceTime. As factual as the sun rising and setting each day, during our last conversation you couldn’t wait to call Poppy, and it was utterly clear you wanted to see him, to talk, asking to call, but being denied for it “was 7:30pm and bedtime, you had school” the next morning. ” Can we call on the way to school?” and just like that the call was over and not a word from you two since. Something is so off, so wrong, and the only thing we can remotely assimilate is that if there is any truth to YOU DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO US, it is that since you have had such drastic change, such loss, and feel we have not been able to help you, that you want so badly to have the approval, love and support of mom and dad, that you know how much dislike and actual hatred existed for Poppy and Nana , that ultimately, for your own emotional survival, you must do what it takes to win emotional security, or maybe, you have been made to believe we are bad somehow and that we have done something so horrific, that we are unworthy of the common decency or kindness shown to any parent or grandparent. Maybe it is just too hard for you, and so unfair, to be in the middle, victims of the polarity, the opposite ends of this spectrum that is not to do with you in any way shape or form.
You’re innocent in all of this, and it is our hope that the feelings of others, will not continue to be projected upon your lives. You not ever feel badly for not being able to say hi, see us, talk with us, share with us for it is not your fault. The day all the other grandparents were at your new school, greeting the children, or celebrating grandparents day, the sorrow in your hearts, the emotional load you carried, memories of the grandparent days with Nana and Poppy at Notre Dame, the burden must have been so great. Please know, we were not invited, we did not forget you, please know you must never believe we didn’t care. Never think we ever have left you by our choice, for we have not. We cannot fix the broken hearts of children, who never got to hear the words they so needed to hear. Words like these, words that crossed any distance, and were spoken from the deepest place in the heart, to say “YOU ARE LOVED, AND ALWAYS WILL BE LOVED.” There was no way for our kids who had lost faith, and felt they could not trust ANYONE, who felt jealous of brothers who never were sent away, and could not communicate how they felt…. these unresolved issues were instrumental in so many preventable events. We hope that with pieces of truth, and an understanding that every one around you, from your parents to all the family, loves you – the outcome will be adults who can change the patterns, not let historical events repeat themselves, change the outcome with kindness, love and education behind the rock solid foundation you lived for so many years in the Mitten.
We love you both, from here to the moon and back,
forever and for always,
❤️Nana and Poppy❤️🍪