Truths weather the storm…

Nana January 9, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah,

Field trips and birthday parties, and fun times !   I hope and am certain you will  have new friends and new adventures-  yet it will be fun one day for you to look back and remember so many Mitten adventures.    The photo above is when Elijah went to a birthday party for Annalise.    Guge was not invited to this one so there is not a photo of her on a horse but instead she went to an ice skating party for a friend, Kate, that Elijah was not at.   Or an organized trip to a pretzel factory where one child is invited  and the other is not- We have heard about how we didn’t let Eli ice skate but we’re  never asked why, nor did we hear how we didn’t let Guilliana ride,  and ironically all to build an impression to small kids that we were unfair!   Hopefully now as active full time parents  more is now understood about  how when invited to birthday parties it can be difficult to always have the sibling attend too, (especially when siblings are not included), rather than to tell innocent children and build a case that says  that their grandparents were unfair, maybe as time goes on there will be understanding – a simple request of explanation rather than accusation and partial truths to twist and manipulate the reality into a case for disowning grandparents .   The saddest thing of all is that two innocent kids have been made to believe that their grandparents they loved with for so many years are somehow bad, when everything in their souls will be telling them it’s not true, that worthwhile people they love and care for are somehow inhuman, that human lives are disposable , and can be cut out like paper snowflakes from their lives… that idea, that sad concept is why we must write.  The hope that one day truthful real and important foundational memories will be seen, freed, and the warmth and compassion inside of the two of you will see and understand that the real truth is everyone loves you both!   Everyone has done for you the very best they were capable of doing, that your parents love you  and your Nana and Poppy do too.    That you do not need to ever be sad, feel bad, or live with guilt.   You need not be angry, or feel hurt.    We love you we always will and we will always know truth and so too will you .

There have been so many things in the Mitten that were done together, and so many things that were done that were individual either based upon age, extracurricular activities chosen by your parents,  or friends etc., however no matter what anyone ever infers, during the Mitten stay, while in our care,  you two,  were our priority and we always put your needs first !   Always !   Your happiness was everything to Poppy and Nana.    Making mom happy, showing her that she could count on us, that she can trust.    Making someone believe in family and trust is not easy.    We always hoped we could .    We can still hope one day it is seen and no one can take away a persona hope.    It lives deep inside with all the love a parent and grandparent has.

Seems there have been amazing moments captured and it is those images we hope will continue to live inside of you.   The hope is that if you have felt you must side with unkind words, side with falseness and ideas of unhappiness in the Mitten, to feel loved and accepted to feel safe and stable we can fully appreciate the long term effect of that situation.    We also understand and love you both.   We know that you have both been caught in between the love and good you have always felt from us  and the new reality that is  we have been exiled or forbidden from your lives.    Never forget that the truth is always the truth and eventually it finds a way to survive and rise out of a storm of untruths.

We love you both TO THE MOON AND BACK,

FOREVER AND FOR ALWAYS,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Warmth, hope and Love ❤️

Nana January 8, 2019 1Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

This is a “selfie” sent to me from you two one day long ago ,  looks like the two of you are doing some  “sha guge eli agins” –   Fun times for sure !

The school week is underway and the first full week after s holiday break is always a little hard in that you have to get back into the routine of school, the holidays are over and the lessons at school begin , however there IS something GREAT to look forward to.  VALENTINES DAY !     Making Valentines for classmates, the memories of Valentine’s Day passed- it is after all the day of ❤️LOVE ❤️

That is something everyone has in common when it comes to the two of you.     Love!    Last year for Valentines  day  Nana and Poppy were just beginning to see what would be ahead.    A year ago today Youd only been gone a few days and we had thought you would be back for a post operative check in a few weeks.     After all  that was what we were told when we asked why everything was being left behind- we were told all your belongings were still in the Mitten because you would be back in a few weeks as well as for visits and there was no indication of what lay ahead.   In January I got a reminder call  from the doctor’s office, and so I spoke to mom,  we learned you were not coming then but would another time .   In February we sent you each Valentines boxes with surprises inside. Up to then we had begun sending post cards and using a special photo app,  to send you love notes , to help you know we were thinking of you , and try to help since the last words we heard as you two were literally sobbing in the car as you left was that  “yes,  you’d be able to call ”,  and would  yes “you would be back on a few weeks”.  At you’re request( both of you asked and loved getting it )  we used to send you “lunch love” every day at school and so I began sending these cards to you at your new home.  Then,  we sent the Valentines to you both.   This is when we recognized there was serious change and  what we later learned was that these things were being withheld.     As time continued to pass we began to see that there was an alternative course being taken and it was not until May following numerous requests to see or talk to you, that phone numbers were changed  and contact was stopped by your parents.  The letters and cards we sent have been saved for you in digital format and you will one day know that we didn’t stop caring, we didn’t stop loving you, we simply , like you, were in the position to watch the unthinkable unfold .

This is a sculpture – it depicts the feeling of loss – and it is without question applicable to us in so many ways-    And we feared that you two at such a young age,  would be subject to similar feelings.  It has been proven that physiological and psychological changes can be seen following significant loss and can significantly impact everything in your body in so many different ways – As time passed and the situation grew worse we began to write these letters again.     To try to help fill in, and piece together the huge void in all of our lives.  While each of us is different and opinions on “how to “ or “what is best”  may greatly vary- one thing is sure.    Everyone loves Guillianna and Elijah, everyone has been impacted and as people who have been primary care givers for so long  with experience and knowledge beyond that of small children or even our own adult children, we will work so hard to make sure we take any and all steps we can  to help heal the broken heart-  be it yours, ours, our daughter, the family – any and all of those whom have loved you both for so many years !   The love ❤️ is so real and sincere you can see it in every single photo and feel it in ever sing memory.    Never forget how loved and lucky you both are to have so many who think of you all the time are wishing happiness for you always and want or see you excel in your life choices .   You do have so many family and friends who send you love hugs and kisses!

We hope you school week is underway and that with all else in the week you must do- that helping you along the way is  the feeling of love  and support.     It’s our belief that your understanding of our absence has been tailored or manufactured/contrived to allow the belief that our absence is for reasons that are not factual.   Love,  like what you two have known is not imaginary, and it doesn’t disappear.    We will always hope for a change of heart.     This website has been around since Guillianna was but weeks old, and one day you may see it again.  Our hope is if you do at least some of the emptiness you could feel as a child will be replaced with the warmth, hope love and gratitude we feel in our hearts when we think of you.

We love you both to the moon and back,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Singing and dancin’

Nana January 7, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Yes so this photo popped up in my memories from a few years ago – and you may not remember but Elijah fell in love with this one song in Arizona long ago – it  ironically caused him some grief at school once fit to the wording but oh my how you both love music and how much fun we had taking turns picking songs on the way to school every morning.  So many good memories for sure.    Morning sillies were the best !      Music,  dancing and singing !   From the minute you woke up- we would start with the “Good morning song that Eli would finish off and well there was no stopping the little singer and dancer in Guillianna too!

We can remember The two of you putting on shows for us and when all the cousins or friends came over the productions that would be created !    Rylee’s mom has videos she shared of some of the playdate productions too that are just so adorable.   Again these uploads can be kept for viewing on a private page since for Nana the technology skill set is limited and I am still working on pixelating images.   There are so many on this site and it is quite a process for me to save the original image,  create a new image and make the archives but I work at it daily.   The objective of this site is to make certain you will always have warm happy feelings inside when it comes to the Mitten,  for all of your family and your friends here!  It is our hope that you will fully understand the amount of love that was then and still exists now, and that you will remember the amazing life shared and fully know it to be as special as it truly was.   Until you’re able to spend time with your grandparents and family in the Mitten, we hope to protect you’re sweet hearts from any possible trauma endured from the loss, sorrow, and loss of trust it could feel in such an unusual situation.   There is so much medical literature to support the need for a person to know and feel these sentiments, to know and feel truth, and support.   As we have tried to convey  so many times and in so many ways through these love letters – you are loved by mom and dad, you are loved by all of those  you have impacted through nine and six years of your now 10 and 7 year old lives.     You have made it through 365 days without two people you could not bear to leave or be with out –  and we are forever hopeful you know we will always wait for that ‘call’,  or that chance to hug you and tell you to your faces how truly happy we are to see your growth, your scholastic and non academic achievements!    To share actively  and be present  in your current or future lives!    We also know that if the independence or separation from all those in the Mitten continues and is more comfortable for mom and dad, we will hope you’ll one day understand and  you will know we did not abandon you two and we understand you did not have ay ability to change the situation .  We understand that loving and missing here would be so hard to share when you’re expected not to .   Or would feel you have Dissapointed anyone if you did.   A terribly hard place for anyone to be in especially a child.   We hope you’ll one day know that we supported our daughter for all of her military career and while she was working she was able to go to school.    She did all that she could to advance in her job and to provide and be the stability she needed to be for you both.   She could not have worked the type of full time job that the Army is  and gotten her college studies done without help from so many who love her, her grandparents, her mom and her dad – so many people have been part of mom’s life from the start – and she will make sure she is there and had set up plans  for you both.   It’s our understanding that her work over these past ten years and more,  will have allowed for you two to go to college one day!   Now that dad is out of the Army you two have begun the next chapter of your journey but our love letters are written to make sure you know your family will stay your family regardless of next duty station, or destination in your lives.     Nana and Poppy have so much experience in the cause and effect of attachment issues  related to loss and major change therefore  we will always do what we can to help you see that you can trust, you can believe, and you can love!   That even if not all people are in agreement on the necessity or value of all things, relationships,  people  that have been left behind in the Mitten,  we do agree in the  shared and true love for two special people !  Love of you both is a common thread and it cannot be broken .

We will love you to the moon and back – we will always be your cheering section , and we will always keep safe the story of our lives-  the beginning of our journey, the story of our hopes and dreams,  the journal of the events in our lives,  for all  or any of our grandchildren who look to understand this unusual situation, seeker of the how and why, the history .

We are so grateful for the great things you bring to us in life.    You two  make our hearts sing !    You have so many little friends who have tried to write and keep contact with you.  If mom  should get the chance to bring you for a visit we will be sure to arrange for you to visit your old school or make a play date … and if not this letter can serve to tell you they all miss you both very much and loved time spent with you!   It’s how everyone in the Mitten feels! Nothing but love for you both ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Forever and for always ,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Happiness always…

Nana January 6, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Wishing you forever smiles like these.  The journal of our memories is so much more than just a way for you remember the Mitten and all of your family and friends.

We hope every single day to meet with you again, to talk or FaceTime!  It’s hrd to believe the second half of fourth and first grades  have begun and in a few short months you will have the entire summer ahead of you to do all kinds of fun things!

We wonder have you begun band or music ?   Is there new activities or continued with old loves like  dance, gymnastics, karate,  or cheer?    It’s highly likely you had to change all of those activities but we are sure mom and dad found new ones they wanted for you and we know how they love you and want you to grow happy and healthy.    We simply wish for you to know we think about all these wonderful new beginnings and hope you’re doing well and know we are super proud of the courage and strength we know it has taken to separate from what you knew so long and begin again.  But goodness knows you are super hero’s in your hearts and we are cheering you on as we always have.

We wish you today and every day to make it special to shine as bright as you always have and know that this year and every year we will be sending you wishes for feelings of love , happiness, accomplishment, and a solid trust in the love Nana and Poppy have for you both.   We love you to the moon and back,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?