Another birthday –

Nana March 24, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Great Grandma Sharyn’s birthday came and went without hearing from mommy, her grand-daughter…. so sad , and also  another birthday passed by in your home , one that we have been told – “no gift no contact” or we would “be taken to court for harassment” !?!   Family events, birthdays, connections had always been among your favorite things.    I read one of the letters I received from your mom a while ago, as I was preparing some documents – and it was clear that the intent is to make you hate… hate all you once knew and change what was once fact into fiction or have it be forgotten.   It is clear that in order for you to press forward to ‘earn’ the support and love every child desires from their parent you must hide all you ever remember.  You will be taught to hate and resent.    It’s also clear that the distancing, the name calling that is our burden will likely become you’re view, that your Nana and Poppy are “toxic, narcissistic” people.      It was our hope that your good memories would be sincere and deep rooted in your lives, but in all reality the first nine and six years of your lives will not likely resonate with you very long.     I write this letter today to say – our lives  will  be forever changed by the convoluted misinformation that has come out in these past months.    A little girl and boy who loved their grandparents so very much – who are worthy of so much love and to have had active grandparents in us as part of their lives have been denied.      Some could say the innocent  have literally  been victimized by the needs of the adult situation.    The reality is in all the first nine and six years of your lives,   Nana and Poppy had a very special relationship with both of you because you lived with us so much of the time.     That unique environment led to accusations that we favor some grandchildren over others , that led to ideas that Nana and Poppy  show “favor” to some of their own children …. these opinions were voice by mom to us.    Memories of how she felt second to her own brother.    Similar to memories she had when she lived n Romania and her brothers were allowed to stay home but some of the girls were sent to an orphanage.      For every single moment of every single day as a child she felt it unfair and she struggled desperately to cope with her anger and frustration at her complex and sorrowful issues with her Romanian family.     The idea that we have somehow “lied” to you.   That we mistreated you ?   That you have felt a need to support stories that Nana and Poppy were unkind or not caring …. that you have said we did bad things or did wrong by either of you ?   Is beyond sorrowful.   Nana and Poppy never will forget the love, the hugs, the fun, the laughter, the playtime ….

just the other day Poppy found text messages from you, or videos you made…  we are hopeful that you will be able to take all we have for you and make sense of this one day.    Know that we simply hope to minimize the childhood trauma of losing so many people you loved.        All your relatives clearly are missing you loving you wanting your happiness and peace.      The idea that we are toxic is an opinion.     That will become yours in the care  of people who have so little respect, so much hatred and so much trauma.    The entire time you were in the Mitten they didn’t often speak to your other grandparents, and now you do so maybe there is hope that one day a nice turn of events that allows you the opportunity to share your lives with all your family and still have the love and respect of your mom and dad –    That your relationship with all you love can have balance.      We cannot tell you in enough ways or enough times how loved you are!

A year ago Valentine’s Day this began to seem so odd, we sent both of you gifts.    Yet there was something said that Guillianna didn’t get one ?    And was crushed …”do not to say anything to her” –   We see now – It was the beginning of a plan to remove the attachment    And the list card or love letters sent were demanded to be stopped.    It has been a progression that seems to all fit in place with the motives.

You two used to talk to Elena and Gray. (And even little Cole ).    Until there was a general post put on Facebook by dad,  and items in it were negative and berating to the role of a mother in law – since then – this goes back quite a bit now, but ever since you’ve not been allowed to FaceTime your cousins and other family members “unfriended” or cut out of life .    People you love  will not ever be disposable to most people.  Yet there are those who feel that philosophy is best.     Nana and Poppy assume you’re told that we are bad parents.   That we are bad grandparents.   You will end up believing what you will.    We can hope for you to have peace and happiness.

The idea that we have had some hard lessons handed to us by our children, some horrible events for us , has in fact changed us.    The pathway between father daughter and mom  for us is seemingly irreparable, but your Poppy is the eternal optimist.     He has no idea how to help  his own daughter find the love, respect and kindness she was always shown, that are core principles on which he has lived his whole life.    We cannot make others see what they do not want to see, yet the hope cannot be taken from either of us .

Youre likely going to have a break from school soon – and we will hope it’s full of fun and laughter for you.     The truth may always be hidden, or the truths you yourselves know to be true – may remain tucked away for ever, but that will not stop the wishes for you both.     We love you to the moon and back,

forever and for always ,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GG Sharyn !

Nana March 21, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

Last year on this day we thought surely your mom would have you call and tell Great Grandma Sharyn HAPPY BIRTHDAY – she did not.

Great Grandma has always been kind and loving. She has supported your mom though out all her life.   She has only ever shown unconditional love and has never done anything mean or harmful to anyone.   Her greatest joy is when her children and their families are happy.     The truth is the truth and she is as good a person as anyone could ever hope to be.    Nicer than anyone we know and deserving of respect and kindness.   Today she has another birthday and we can hope our daughter will take a close look at how she has been supported by her family and especially great Grandma Sharyn and ask herself when it is enough.     It seems that even a criminal would be treated with greater kindness than the mental anguish and torture that has been brought upon so many in this family great grandparents.   Your grandparents , and mommy’s  grand parents have no value to some , but we do know the value that you both have on family.     We know the love you have always had for your Mitten State family and we send you a love letter to say – it’s ok that you could not say hello.  It’s  ok that happy Birthday wishes were banned.   These actions are not a reflection upon yourselves.   These are choices made for you by someone else who themselves have no value upon, or  or any experience themselves,   on how to show respect for family for parent or grandparent,  or how to honor those in their lives that protected them, sheltered them, loved them, and raised them .     You were shown when you were small how we celebrate family.    You loved, lived, and throughly enjoyed the family.     The lessons learned this day and since last year have been handed to you and when your older you will find the code of ethics, honor, value and beliefs  that you will feel best suit you.       Know this, we will tell great Grandma happy birthday for you.   We will share memories of happier times, we will smile and we will hold those beautiful memories close until we one day meet again.     And if for any reason that day doesn’t come in our lifetimes, know that you’re loved, you’re not to blame, and your missed deeply.

This is quite a long time ago ….

We have so many memories to reflect upon

 That nothing can change the sincere and pure love you have had for any of us, or the love they have had for you !

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Happy St Patrick’s Day!

Nana March 17, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Wishing you a Happy St Patty’s day !   The Irish games at NDPMA will be in full swing and we had lots of fun memories of those didn’t we?     I bet you likely have report cards coming out soon or just out and I want you to know we are so proud of you both !   You have been at the new school for about a year now.    Less the summer break.    Yet I am sure you have so much to be proud of.    We love you both so much and we hope that you will always give your best effort in all you do.   There are things that can’t always be measured in the letter grade, things that show in how you treat others, how hard you try, the attitude you have about learning and all of these combined are so important as you grow.     We are certain you are making yourselves proud as well as everyone around you proud !    All  of the people in the Mitten who have known and loved you all your lives til you were removed from all our lives,  are cheering for you – kinda just like during Irish week at your old school.   Team work, dedication, effort, the passion to make this world a better place!    Keep up the good work guys… know we are always with you, and will always be wishing you Elijah’s favorite words when he was a student at NDPMA,  “ardent love”, love for your mom and dad and everyone that is reciprocated by those around you making this transition you’ve experience easier and less difficult.  Know we will not ever forget you two.  We will always be devastated by the choices our daughter has allowed to take place,  resulting in this destruction of sincere and deep love.   The most sad thing for us, is this is a repeat for you both, of loss.  To create for you both, a deep loss of love, a deep loss of true and deep trust, and attatchment, that you now get to carry as she has for her entire life, will be yours to bear as well.   We, as your extended family will do our very best to let you know, you were not abandoned, you were not mistreated, you were not unhappy, you were not ever responsible for any of the heartbreak.   You will likely be angry at times, mad we did not change the course of the “dislike” and for lack of any better term, the hate shown to you by the disconnect your parents thrust upon all of us.  Know it is not your fault.   The trauma of the past, is affecting you both, and everyone around, but it is not your fault.   It is like the PTSD you once learned about at school.   Trauma, loss of family, loss of everything familiar and anger over lack of control has guided decisions, and actions in this.   It will now be your history as well.   It is sad that you are forced to carry such heartache, and adapt to the reality that if you love, if you miss, you will hurt people you love.   Just like when you were told by daddy about not crying as a small child.   If you cried, you made sad the person you only ever wanted to please.     Now if you love or miss us, you would betray the love you so desparatley want.     This is not your fault, this is not your burden.   We will always love you both, we will always want your happiness we will write and let you know youre thought of, and that we hope all your dreams become reality.   You, unlike our own children, will have the ability to kmow….. what they did not.

We love you both, to the moon and back,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Endless love ❤️

Nana March 15, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Hopefully you have had an excellent fourth and first grade year.  Crazy to think that it is coming to a close  pretty soon.  We are hopeful you have continued to love school and learned so many new things !   The end of a school years  makes me think of the letters Poppy and Nana would write to each of you at the end of each school year.  We gave them to mom , and  Mom was supposed to be saving them for you.    Hopefully that will be a promise kept.   The love letters for now will be sent via this site will one day eventually they will  get to you, and you’ll know the how proud we are of all you do.     The academic success and the personal victories you experience  not only in this year, but through the future will be many and our hearts are with you all along the way.   You  will learn that you’ll both be rewarded by your own efforts and  self worth.

We may not be able to see, or are not “allowed” to know how amazing you two are doing in the present moment but believe in this, we we do know YOU,   for the reality is that for all but these past  months of your lives,  we have watched aided and grew with you , every step of your lives.  We were able to bond with you as you grew in our home, and yes you were both happy, full of laughter and had so much fun .   The mere idea that any person ever would twist or turn that into something less is beyond sad. We have to believe  It has happened without full understanding of what this kind of elimination and manipulative action will do to your minds in the future.   The reality is history has proven that emotional withdrawal has the potential to  carry with it life long trauma without given the knowledge, tools or understanding that are needed to cope.    We continue to hope somehow that your memories will not  be altered to believe you were unhappy.   It is possible to love and respect your mom and dad, to understand they had been gone so long and simply wanted very much to reconnect and bond with their children, as well as have us as grandparents in your lives.    We will always believe  that seeing the love you had for us as your grandparents must have been somehow very threatening to them, enough so that the fear it created , allowed the events of these past months to ever happen .

It will eventually be clear to you and hopefully them,  that what they have chosen as an acceptable way to behave to your family, your parents, and every single relative in the family, to cut people out of your life,  because somehow they all so bad so evil so worthless that you are justified in treating them as if they are meaningless?    Is not what they would want you to do with them , so the only way to make it seem justified is to say we somehow deserve it.      This was so unnecessary- the truth will always be , that letting you have a Nana and Poppy in your lives was a good joyful and valuable, special time.    To actually have value  for people who have dedicated themselves to the lives of others , is a foreign concept for some.    The concept  that for a time you were able to enjoy as much as humanly possible the days and nights spent for nine( and six) years, in their absence , could one day become a reality.  Yes it would take a great deal if helo maturity and counsel likely but to believe the heart of a traumatized child, can be healed is even more important than ever !    Since the day we adopted our children, we hoped that the childhood trauma could be healed, that children who had no control over their lives, lost people they loved and grew up around, family friends and the people who cared for them and raised them for many years, all disappeared from their lives – and the legacy of that trauma is beyond anything my words could ever do justice to.  We will hope for our children to learn before more pain and sorrow consumes future adult lives.

We will hope   that he honest and true idea of how we as mommy’s  parents tried to help her,  could eventually set in.   She could learn  it was a wonderful time for you both,   to have special memories and life long love and support from your grandparents and every single person around you that supported her service /duty.    The fact that your mom was fulfilling this duty she contracted to do, her promise to keep you in the best possible school for as long as she could move you as little as possible , to provide you medical insurance, the love of family and that our extended family would  all surround you, and provide you the opportunity for a college education, is all true ….. and we honored that 100 percent .  They contracted to do a job for the Army , mom always  kept the promises made to serve and provide for you, we were fortunate to be able to help her and serve you both and help provide as well,  as much as we could,  to give you everything possible as your grandparents –  for many years .    We dedicated ourselves 100 percent to  all of you .   It was NOT ever bad, OR unhappy, it was never unkind and it was absolutely … NOT  wrong for you to love us how you did, and not wrong to love the life you had in the Mitten.    There was no reason for you to ever feel you had to choose between pleasing mom and dad to dislike or bolster any kind of untruth, and loving your grandparents but yet it seems that is what has happened  –    and for that we will always wish that our own daughter had seen that people in her life have value.    Substantial value.   That turning you both against your childhood is a travesty.      Her own grandparents, her own siblings, her own neices and nephews – how we treat other people is evident through your years . We believe she had pressure  that in your future will be able more clearly see,  her life and events in her life backed her into a choice she made that one day will surely be regrettable for her.    The stories or inuendo – the mind control , To justify this most recent change is your lives,  in you’re not being allowed to talk to us , see us , visit with us,  are the reason we write .    To assure you that we will stand behind the love you’ve felt for us, the love we will always feel for you .   We have no doubt that the truths of who we are and what life was , are or have been redesigned to destroy your bond with us.     Sadly tho there is a consequence The human interactions you have had  all your lives are not tossed aside without significant trauma and our love letters are written to reinforce, and validate the sense of love you always have known from us and these images and words are preserved for you to build upon as adults who will one day try to make sense of all that has been seemingly lost.   Love from us as people who wish you every happiness and opportunity, every dream and many more years  with family and friends, is an emotion that we want you to always know.   We wish life for each of you ,  becomes so more more than you ever imagined.  You will have these words to remind you that we will always be cheering for you to be happy healthy and full of love –  and that the worry you could one day feel for decisions that were made for you , is lifted.   We can not replace what you will have been denied , or heal the heartbreak , but we can tell you how the courage and strength it has taken for you to cope and adapt can be utilized as a positive.

We hope you will one day  read and re read these words.   Take all of the documents we have left for our children and grand children and live the story of love you’ve been granted because people all around you love.     Love will always bring more to your lives than hate ever could.

We love you both to the moon and back ,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?