Listen… with your heart!

Nana October 28, 2018 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

Today is Friday , and I definitely still get to enjoy Bash visits … it reminds me how much you both loved when he came to Nana’s on Friday’s or to your school. You used to make him laugh so hard ! Click over the link and you’ll find a video memory !

Then there is the video where Poppy took you and Elijah on a special date night… to show you how amazing it is to have a date with someone special and how you should always be made to feel.  SPECIAL!

Today in this photo he is just a few months shy of two years old. He is still so adorable and to me it sure seems he is growing fast.

Today he tried to fit into Guillianna’s doll stroller. He found it very funny ! I remember Guillianna and Eli both doing this with this same toy! It must be true that the older a person gets – the faster things and time- go by. We can’t imagine how you two have likely grown. I wonder if you even remember us ? Or if you’ve changed so much from what we remember? That is what is hardest for Poppy and I- it’s the idea we’ve been told that you two don’t want to see us or talk to us!!!!!!

The idea that something or that someone has said things that moved you from wanting to get good night kisses, dream starters and hugs every single night, changed the hysterical crying that happened when you had to leave, crying so hard about how you’d miss us  … to this new and completely changed relationship.   We are told you no longer want to know us ?

We have no option but to believe That it’s either – you’re afraid of hurting your parents feelings or that some sort of lie / miscommunication or mis information has occurred.

Both options are so sad ! All we can really hope at this point is THAT YOU LISTEN to YOUR HEARTS ❤️ AND KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS for you  TO always BE GOOD amazing KIDS WHO LOVE WITH ALL of their HEART and soul – ALWAYS REMEMBER THE LOVE YOU HAVE KNOWN FOR ALL THESE YEARS AND BE KIND.  KEEP all of the family and friends, teachers and PEOPLE YOU LOVE and care for,  CLOSE TO YOUR heart AND BE STRONG.

So our hope is that with these letters, videos, photos – to you both are images of the true past and that they will stay inside you and help you through. That you will both ALWAYS remember to LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART. To have grown up with us – to have so many firsts. To learn to eat, crawl, walk, talk read and write … and somehow come to a point of NO CONTACT – and what it is our lives now ? Well that is incomprehensible to us! So we we too listen with our hearts ? and that is why we write- to remind you we will never be upset with you. That we loved every moment we ever had in your lives. And hope to be in your lives again soon. We would not ever miss a chance to see you at activities or at birthday celebrations. We simply love you and have no choice but to allow mom and dad to do things as they see fit. Here’s another link for you to click !

I think that I have video of all of these kind of things – and I remember having one of Elijah walking behind Guge on a tricycle when he took his first steps. ?

Here is another happy face !

The smiles the love the memories – they all warm our hearts. We love you both so very much. We hope one day you know how much and that the two of you as well as your mom and dad are all very happy.

Love you both forever and always – this link always melts my heart…..

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Running ? Having fun ? Keeping busy we’re sure!

Nana October 25, 2018 1Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

I hope you had a great day today ! Poppy does too! We imagine you’re busy every day school and maybe even have taken up running ?‍♀️ to make mom and dad happy ? since they love it so much. Elijah always loved it. Guillianna not so much in her cheer days but surely will learn to if it wins her daddy’s heart.

I remember doing the 5k with you both at Notre Dame and I asked mom in an email recently to please consider coming to the Mitten for homecoming. I never heard back. It would have been fun for all of you for sure. Maybe next year? Maybe you’re rock climbing too – we have no idea how you’ve been spending your days now but what ever you do we hope your healthy happy and safe. We hope you know you’re loved and missed.

I hope you also carved some pumpkins ! It’s almost time to turn back the clock for daylight savings time. Wish I could turn back time for us all to last year this time. So we could see each other. Poppy and I send hugs love and dreams if happy days.

Until next time please know we love you to the moon and back FOREVER AND ALWAYS.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

The struggle is so real …

Nana October 25, 2018 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Eli-

What a cool  VIDEO !

Videos like this with memories of all the fun we had make us wonder, how we can make sure that you know forever- just how powerful love is! It has strength bigger than any super hero – more powerful than you could ever imagine. When something is true and right – no distance, no amount of time, no stories or perceived ideas can change what the heart knows.

I know that when you lived in the Mitten we had so many days weeks, hours, months, years of love and laughter. School field trips and play dates. Birthday parties and friends. These flood to mind when Poppy or I think of you both ! We have the philosophy that family is important. We have the philosophy that our children were lucky to have grandparents and they saw them all the time. They loved when they came to hockey games and we’d meet them just like we did when you were here weekly for meals or gatherings for all sorts of reasons. So this way of living without family is very different to us – to all of us ! Mom and Dad are following their own dreams and they live life on their own terms – the difficult part for us is that it must be so hard for you both. To tuck away your feelings for us, to make sure you have made them proud and worry of things we know you once did! Things like leaving the cookies for poppy in his brief case or the little love notes- building hot wheels tracks or playing school. Catch in the yard or going around the court and to the pond.

We hope that by posting these small pieces, the snapshots of time that seems gone – a glimpse into what was real and wonderful… by posting memories and telling you how loved you are – well we truly hope you’ll see that it is ok for you to relax- no need to wonder if we are sad or mad for we could not ever be sad with you or mad that you have not called , written or come back . We know you cannot. Do not think that we don’t truly know and feel your heart. We do. We know you !

Don’t worry that you may not even remember all that we have done fir these photos will help . This all began with us loving mommy and wanting to help her – we loved on you for years !

no matter where on the planet ? life takes you – in any country – in any state – in any city , in any school or any activity you do, – the true and honest love ❤️ and joy that is in your memories, and lives in our hearts , cannot be taken from any of us. If you ever need your grandparents we are a call away, and no matter the time day or night we have always been there for all of our children and will try to be for as long as life allows. They say grandparents or people in general cannot really promise to always physically be there , but they can promise to love you forever! If you remember that you will feel happy.

When you have a hard test. When you get a cold. When you hit a home run. Or get the special gymnastic move you’ve worked upon … we are clapping for you. Helping you up, trying to calm your worries and hugging you tight !

Today was another battle – to try and not worry about you both . To hope you are doing great and that the drastic change is not going to affect you in the future. We both worry because we have seen what childhood trauma does and how it affects adults. The post may be long today. Full of pictures all over the place in time …. but the words are calling to you both. Telling you that staying sweet, good, smart and confident in the love and support you have in the Mitten … will help you be the best version of yourselves as you grow! Uncles and Aunts, ?teachers, cousins, friends, your doctors here, all those you two have touched by being YOU- all of us think of you two and want HAPPINESS for you both ALWAYS and FOREVER –

We love you, from here to the moon and back –

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Fall at your old school…

Nana October 23, 2018 2Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

While I didn’t take these photos they are from this morning at your old school and were posted on Facebook – So I am using them to show you the amazing fall colors around here! I hope it’s ok ? there was no one’s name for a photo credit on the pic !

So pretty !

I want to ask how are you ? To know how your day was or how was your sleep last night? Did you have any happy dreams or silly ones ? Poppy and I keep on thinking about all the wonderful memories we have made – together with both of you. Keep the warm fuzzy feeling of these memories in your heart with you where ever you go what ever you do. Look forward to more some day some way- “Where ever you go what ever you do …”. Remember? Here is a little boost for you to see that may help … some memories to brighten your day!

We are hoping to see and talk to you – we wish for that every day and night.

So many fun times. We hope one day all these memories will serve you well and help you heal the feelings of loss. I can’t imagine how it must feel to be such small kids losing the people you’ve known since birth and lived with most of your life. There is nothing more painful to us – than to think you’re sad, confused, scared or that you feel the same kind of hole in your soul like we do. When we shared in your lives ours were so full of happiness and laughter. There is something you should know – being your grandparents is something that has made us so very proud – just simply knowing we are lucky enough to your grandparents as well as to be grandparents to your cousins it means so much to us. We hope you feel our love. We know you did before you left- the memories of good night kisses and dream starters. The tears and promise to see you in a few weeks when you left. The promise to be able to call us when ever you want …. we truly don’t know what happened. We are told you don’t want to speak to us. That is what is most disturbing. The only thing we are able to assume is that you fear speaking to us will make your parents sad. Or that you would displease them if you said you wanted to. That would be so sad to imagine. That you internalized all your loss or sorrow to feel you’ve made your parents happy. Even thinking or writing that makes me more than sad that you could be made to feel that way. Or is there something else. Something we can’t understand ? We may not ever know. What we do know is this … we love you both – We have loved your mom as a little girl and through out all of her life – so very much. We have helped her and supported her in every single step of her journey and it is now their hope to be the family they want and that they feel is best. That leaves you both and everyone you have ever known to adjust as best we can . Poppy and I know you felt our love all these years – and we hoped she would have too. Please don’t ever forget that there is not a day in our lives where you two are not in our hearts! We hope to see you soon. Until then be as sweet as ever, work hard at school, love on your mom and dad and know your are loved to the moon and back, forever and always …

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?