HAPPY BIRTHDAY GG Sharyn !

Nana March 21, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

Last year on this day we thought surely your mom would have you call and tell Great Grandma Sharyn HAPPY BIRTHDAY – she did not.

Great Grandma has always been kind and loving. She has supported your mom though out all her life.   She has only ever shown unconditional love and has never done anything mean or harmful to anyone.   Her greatest joy is when her children and their families are happy.     The truth is the truth and she is as good a person as anyone could ever hope to be.    Nicer than anyone we know and deserving of respect and kindness.   Today she has another birthday and we can hope our daughter will take a close look at how she has been supported by her family and especially great Grandma Sharyn and ask herself when it is enough.     It seems that even a criminal would be treated with greater kindness than the mental anguish and torture that has been brought upon so many in this family great grandparents.   Your grandparents , and mommy’s  grand parents have no value to some , but we do know the value that you both have on family.     We know the love you have always had for your Mitten State family and we send you a love letter to say – it’s ok that you could not say hello.  It’s  ok that happy Birthday wishes were banned.   These actions are not a reflection upon yourselves.   These are choices made for you by someone else who themselves have no value upon, or  or any experience themselves,   on how to show respect for family for parent or grandparent,  or how to honor those in their lives that protected them, sheltered them, loved them, and raised them .     You were shown when you were small how we celebrate family.    You loved, lived, and throughly enjoyed the family.     The lessons learned this day and since last year have been handed to you and when your older you will find the code of ethics, honor, value and beliefs  that you will feel best suit you.       Know this, we will tell great Grandma happy birthday for you.   We will share memories of happier times, we will smile and we will hold those beautiful memories close until we one day meet again.     And if for any reason that day doesn’t come in our lifetimes, know that you’re loved, you’re not to blame, and your missed deeply.

This is quite a long time ago ….

We have so many memories to reflect upon

 That nothing can change the sincere and pure love you have had for any of us, or the love they have had for you !

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Happy St Patrick’s Day!

Nana March 17, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Wishing you a Happy St Patty’s day !   The Irish games at NDPMA will be in full swing and we had lots of fun memories of those didn’t we?     I bet you likely have report cards coming out soon or just out and I want you to know we are so proud of you both !   You have been at the new school for about a year now.    Less the summer break.    Yet I am sure you have so much to be proud of.    We love you both so much and we hope that you will always give your best effort in all you do.   There are things that can’t always be measured in the letter grade, things that show in how you treat others, how hard you try, the attitude you have about learning and all of these combined are so important as you grow.     We are certain you are making yourselves proud as well as everyone around you proud !    All  of the people in the Mitten who have known and loved you all your lives til you were removed from all our lives,  are cheering for you – kinda just like during Irish week at your old school.   Team work, dedication, effort, the passion to make this world a better place!    Keep up the good work guys… know we are always with you, and will always be wishing you Elijah’s favorite words when he was a student at NDPMA,  “ardent love”, love for your mom and dad and everyone that is reciprocated by those around you making this transition you’ve experience easier and less difficult.  Know we will not ever forget you two.  We will always be devastated by the choices our daughter has allowed to take place,  resulting in this destruction of sincere and deep love.   The most sad thing for us, is this is a repeat for you both, of loss.  To create for you both, a deep loss of love, a deep loss of true and deep trust, and attatchment, that you now get to carry as she has for her entire life, will be yours to bear as well.   We, as your extended family will do our very best to let you know, you were not abandoned, you were not mistreated, you were not unhappy, you were not ever responsible for any of the heartbreak.   You will likely be angry at times, mad we did not change the course of the “dislike” and for lack of any better term, the hate shown to you by the disconnect your parents thrust upon all of us.  Know it is not your fault.   The trauma of the past, is affecting you both, and everyone around, but it is not your fault.   It is like the PTSD you once learned about at school.   Trauma, loss of family, loss of everything familiar and anger over lack of control has guided decisions, and actions in this.   It will now be your history as well.   It is sad that you are forced to carry such heartache, and adapt to the reality that if you love, if you miss, you will hurt people you love.   Just like when you were told by daddy about not crying as a small child.   If you cried, you made sad the person you only ever wanted to please.     Now if you love or miss us, you would betray the love you so desparatley want.     This is not your fault, this is not your burden.   We will always love you both, we will always want your happiness we will write and let you know youre thought of, and that we hope all your dreams become reality.   You, unlike our own children, will have the ability to kmow….. what they did not.

We love you both, to the moon and back,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Endless love ❤️

Nana March 15, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Hopefully you have had an excellent fourth and first grade year.  Crazy to think that it is coming to a close  pretty soon.  We are hopeful you have continued to love school and learned so many new things !   The end of a school years  makes me think of the letters Poppy and Nana would write to each of you at the end of each school year.  We gave them to mom , and  Mom was supposed to be saving them for you.    Hopefully that will be a promise kept.   The love letters for now will be sent via this site will one day eventually they will  get to you, and you’ll know the how proud we are of all you do.     The academic success and the personal victories you experience  not only in this year, but through the future will be many and our hearts are with you all along the way.   You  will learn that you’ll both be rewarded by your own efforts and  self worth.

We may not be able to see, or are not “allowed” to know how amazing you two are doing in the present moment but believe in this, we we do know YOU,   for the reality is that for all but these past  months of your lives,  we have watched aided and grew with you , every step of your lives.  We were able to bond with you as you grew in our home, and yes you were both happy, full of laughter and had so much fun .   The mere idea that any person ever would twist or turn that into something less is beyond sad. We have to believe  It has happened without full understanding of what this kind of elimination and manipulative action will do to your minds in the future.   The reality is history has proven that emotional withdrawal has the potential to  carry with it life long trauma without given the knowledge, tools or understanding that are needed to cope.    We continue to hope somehow that your memories will not  be altered to believe you were unhappy.   It is possible to love and respect your mom and dad, to understand they had been gone so long and simply wanted very much to reconnect and bond with their children, as well as have us as grandparents in your lives.    We will always believe  that seeing the love you had for us as your grandparents must have been somehow very threatening to them, enough so that the fear it created , allowed the events of these past months to ever happen .

It will eventually be clear to you and hopefully them,  that what they have chosen as an acceptable way to behave to your family, your parents, and every single relative in the family, to cut people out of your life,  because somehow they all so bad so evil so worthless that you are justified in treating them as if they are meaningless?    Is not what they would want you to do with them , so the only way to make it seem justified is to say we somehow deserve it.      This was so unnecessary- the truth will always be , that letting you have a Nana and Poppy in your lives was a good joyful and valuable, special time.    To actually have value  for people who have dedicated themselves to the lives of others , is a foreign concept for some.    The concept  that for a time you were able to enjoy as much as humanly possible the days and nights spent for nine( and six) years, in their absence , could one day become a reality.  Yes it would take a great deal if helo maturity and counsel likely but to believe the heart of a traumatized child, can be healed is even more important than ever !    Since the day we adopted our children, we hoped that the childhood trauma could be healed, that children who had no control over their lives, lost people they loved and grew up around, family friends and the people who cared for them and raised them for many years, all disappeared from their lives – and the legacy of that trauma is beyond anything my words could ever do justice to.  We will hope for our children to learn before more pain and sorrow consumes future adult lives.

We will hope   that he honest and true idea of how we as mommy’s  parents tried to help her,  could eventually set in.   She could learn  it was a wonderful time for you both,   to have special memories and life long love and support from your grandparents and every single person around you that supported her service /duty.    The fact that your mom was fulfilling this duty she contracted to do, her promise to keep you in the best possible school for as long as she could move you as little as possible , to provide you medical insurance, the love of family and that our extended family would  all surround you, and provide you the opportunity for a college education, is all true ….. and we honored that 100 percent .  They contracted to do a job for the Army , mom always  kept the promises made to serve and provide for you, we were fortunate to be able to help her and serve you both and help provide as well,  as much as we could,  to give you everything possible as your grandparents –  for many years .    We dedicated ourselves 100 percent to  all of you .   It was NOT ever bad, OR unhappy, it was never unkind and it was absolutely … NOT  wrong for you to love us how you did, and not wrong to love the life you had in the Mitten.    There was no reason for you to ever feel you had to choose between pleasing mom and dad to dislike or bolster any kind of untruth, and loving your grandparents but yet it seems that is what has happened  –    and for that we will always wish that our own daughter had seen that people in her life have value.    Substantial value.   That turning you both against your childhood is a travesty.      Her own grandparents, her own siblings, her own neices and nephews – how we treat other people is evident through your years . We believe she had pressure  that in your future will be able more clearly see,  her life and events in her life backed her into a choice she made that one day will surely be regrettable for her.    The stories or inuendo – the mind control , To justify this most recent change is your lives,  in you’re not being allowed to talk to us , see us , visit with us,  are the reason we write .    To assure you that we will stand behind the love you’ve felt for us, the love we will always feel for you .   We have no doubt that the truths of who we are and what life was , are or have been redesigned to destroy your bond with us.     Sadly tho there is a consequence The human interactions you have had  all your lives are not tossed aside without significant trauma and our love letters are written to reinforce, and validate the sense of love you always have known from us and these images and words are preserved for you to build upon as adults who will one day try to make sense of all that has been seemingly lost.   Love from us as people who wish you every happiness and opportunity, every dream and many more years  with family and friends, is an emotion that we want you to always know.   We wish life for each of you ,  becomes so more more than you ever imagined.  You will have these words to remind you that we will always be cheering for you to be happy healthy and full of love –  and that the worry you could one day feel for decisions that were made for you , is lifted.   We can not replace what you will have been denied , or heal the heartbreak , but we can tell you how the courage and strength it has taken for you to cope and adapt can be utilized as a positive.

We hope you will one day  read and re read these words.   Take all of the documents we have left for our children and grand children and live the story of love you’ve been granted because people all around you love.     Love will always bring more to your lives than hate ever could.

We love you both to the moon and back ,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Love forever ❤️?

Nana March 13, 2019 0Comments

 Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

With each day that passes we hope you will one day know – we are so very sorry that you’ve not been given the opportunity to see us, or the rest of your family in the Mitten.   It is truly so sad that you have been denied something like family,  those you have always loved or possibly have been swayed to no longer care for anymore –  you’ve been not been given the opportunity to share in the lives of people you loved so much for all of your lives, not your Aunts and Uncles, cousins that you grew up around for your entire lives, not your great grandparents and your Nana and Poppy, the friends who have written you and tried to be pen pals or FaceTime friends  –   No matter what you have been told, or what  it may seem… we are all still loving you both, proud of you both, wishing happiness for you both and imagining and hoping  a wonderful adventure is before you.    That you’ll heal from the trauma of all this and that all of us can one day understand love doesn’t just slip away,  and that the issues that caused all of this sorrow, are not your fault, they are not yours to carry, and we hope they don’t cyclically become your futures.    The in ability to attach,  to trust and love the reasons that others found it necessary to cut out of your lives all the good people you’ve known , in order to know a new life, to adjust to  a new life with dad since he was discharged from  the Army, and we were no longer of use to mom in her absence, are not your issues, yes it impacted your lives but in no way are you to ever feel you could have changed it as children.     You will hopefully keep all the love and happiness inside, you will hopefully remember dancing and laughing and playing, the family gathering and births of cousins, that these joyful memories will help you as you become adults to know that  family is worth keeping, parents are worth loving and you will hopefully grow to be a wonderful aunt or uncle yourselves, you’ll keep your cousins in your lives, you parents will always be respected and treated like parents should be  .      We hope you know this is not your fault that you did nothing wo warrant being hurt by the feelings or misjudgments of others.  We understand it was not fair to either of you and that you will need to one day try to grasp all that has happened in this past year.     It will become a part of your own adulthood , to forgive people for the  denial and life altering decisions that you’ll bear witness to through out your youth  where in so many other children are able to have and enjoy,  but you’ve been denied.   You the dysfunctional environment that has now spread to your lives is not fair and it is a chain that will need to be broken.   One day you will hopefully learn how important mom and dad are to you, that they try to do the very best for you , that your children will benefit from having a Nana and Poppy who will share once the lives of your children… and you  two will not have issues with trust and attachment – but will bond, will love and will have gratitude for the family in your lives.    You may not always agree with the things your mom and dad chose, or how they handled things, but you will stop the cycle and help them see the values that you’ve been denied can and will be present in the lives of future generations should you have kids,  or in how you treat others as adults . Read More