MLK Day 2019
Dear Guillianna and Elijah –
Today is Monday and it is Martin Luther King Day- whom I am certain you are learning about at school. I also think you may have today off school. As your long weekend comes to an end and you prepare for a new week this love letter as are all the others is to send you a message of more love. This holiday is supposed to remind us of the importance of treating others with kindness, respect. To value human life. To live in a world where all humans are treated with equality and diversity is not only acceptable but welcomed. We hope that one day soon your able to see us again, that the feelings of kindness prevail and a bridge can be formed to see that everyone loves both of you, no matter where or how the love originated no matter if we are grandparents, or “just babysitters” or “dispensable” to your parents, no matter what issues have clouded the vision of dreams and have precluded the potential that exists for love to win; we hope you will always know that when you allow the heart to feel, the doors to happiness will open.
Never will your Nana and Poppy feel there are choices to make in love- we hope for you to have love for your mom and dad, to be allowed to love all your family, be it grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and know there is no choosing, no need to deny yourselves the love of anyone else in order to make Nana and Poppy pleased. Know that the memories are true and good that nothing can change them. We have no idea what you’ve been told – the questions you must have like, “why doesn’t anyone call you? What happened to all of us in the Mitten and to the family and friends you had been so close with ? Why do you not see any of us? Why have you been unable to talk to the great grandparents who have always loved you both ?” What possible reason could be given to small children for such huge loss and withdrawal? Are these people you loved so much, all so awful that you must be withheld? Are you to believe we were temporary? We are bad? Are you to believe no one cares? What could you have been told ? Or are you currently being told? Are you so afraid to ask can we call Nana and Poppy? After all, last we spoke you were begging to talk to Poppy but given the answer that it was too late ( at 7:30) and would call the next day . The next day never came… maybe it was Elijah giving the thumbs down about not coming to stay at Nanas now that daddy was out of the army, after he asked to see his bedroom, or that you wanted to talk to Poppy and now that promise – to call, has turned into months. He has not seen your faces or heard your voices for so long and what could be the possible reason you have been given? What will be the effect of such action? How far is this set of circumstances, from the message of respect kindness and love that we as humans should create and live by?
Love letters to you both are meant to give you feelings of constant and sincere love and compassion. Support of the emotions you may have, and are an attempt to say we hope you will one day be free to know love to and from mom and dad is so important to healthy lives , and it is ok to love them as your parents and it is okay for you to still love and care for all the others in your heart. For Nana and Poppy our love is unconditional- where ever your journey takes you the memories that fill the pages here are as real as can be. They can show you the historical journey and in turn help your future. They won’t change, and the past cannot change. The today – The tomorrow – The hope- these are what embody each and every letter written. Love and respect you have for mom and dad is good, and the life that is at this point your reality, is, and has been chosen for you. Love for all- respect for parents and still freedom to love or communicate with others in your family will be your right and free choice. It will be a decision you can make with fact and documentation that supports or helps you understand a little better the dynamics that exist causing you this horrible divide. The rational that led to such decisions, and if the details of event have not been accurately depicted – they will be and you will then be able to better understand how it is possible to love and honor your parents and still have love and a place comfortable happy and like home inside when it comes to your grandparents.
When you are old enough to be independent in your actions, your thoughts and to follow your heart there WILL be NO choice for you to make. You will not ever have to choose between talking to, seeing, and loving your mom and dad, and others you love who are not your parents. These feelings are so important and must be protected . We used to watch video of mom and dad when you were small. We honored them and the service they were doing. Day after day, moth after month, and now year , we hope for them to see that your happiness and balance – the importance of not alienating the two people who have stayed with you day in and day out for nearly 9 years, is more important to seek your happiness and healthy relationships than it is to try to hurt! We spent so much time teaching you about their love for you , the service and the good they were doing. We helped as much as we could in the years of care we gave. We shared with them every single moment possible to bring unity and closeness despite the distance. We would not ever want you to change those values, principles that we lived with you – and would always support and want love for your parents to be present . What has happened to cause them to want this divide we may not ever truthfully know- we only have the facts that you can have when you’re 18 to get any kind of answers as to what or what happened so very long ago to impact you both or influence this matter. What we can hope is that one day they will want you to feel loved, share in the love, experience the love , and have the balance you’re deserving of. Something has clouded that for now and even if it continues, there will be a day where you can love, see, speak to us without ever having to choose between, and simply have all those you love in your lives.
Today as every other day , we love your both , to the moon and back,
forever and for always,
❤️Nana and Poppy❤️🍪