Dear Guillianna and Elijah-
We have made it to the middle of another week! You may be preparing for vocabulary tests or practicing spelling words. Maybe you are learning all about history and science, or you may be having new experiences in art class and learning so many new things. As a general rule growing up is all about asking questions and learning …. The one question you may have, that seems to have no answer is “why?” Why did this happen? Why can’t we call, see or love Nana and Poppy without making anyone else sad? Why did Nana and Poppy let this happen? Why didn’t anyone stop it ? Why doesn’t mommy want to love her parents? Why is it our memories and love for Nana and Poppy are good but we no longer see them? Forever people have wondered Why all of the bad things in the world even happen at all? There are so times in life we ask why? And you could ask 10 different people about any one of those “why” questions and potentially get 10 different responses to each question. All we are able to do in this world of so many questions is seek answers, seek truth, hope for love and live with integrity. We try our very best improve, or help make the life we live, the community we live in, a little better, a little more kind, offer something that improves humanity.
To touch the life of a person and hopefully make it better or enrich it in some way- that is who your Nana and your Poppy would hope to live their lives, our mission , and it is truly how we feel. Yet not how we are presently perceived by your parents based upon their actions and treatment of us as your grandparents. It is said when someone wants to hurt another persons feelings , is unkind, or does something that cannot be understood – it could stem from something within that person themselves. When Poppy and I ask “why? “ would a child of ours want to do something as hurtful as denying her children 2 grandparents, great grandparents, aunts uncles and cousins, us the right to share in her life or the lives of our grandchildren, the only thing we can think is how much pain that person must truly be in – to hurt so many people and say it is in anyone’s best interest is simply not true or fair.
Poppy and I both watched how your mom suffered, to be sent away for her work, there was so much pain when she had to deploy or leave you two. This website began so very long ago to keep her connected to make her see our dedication to her, to you both! ThIs whole journey with you two and your Nana and Poppy is deep-rooted in love and promises! I know there are so many things has had to endure in her life that one day you’ll understand more of. The things that are true and real, or have factual documents to support them will one day help adult versions of yourself know how truly hurt the heart of a little girl was and how sad she was by not being able to be there for so many years. Even when not deployed there were so many times where you two came to the Mitten and all the while she was working toward her degree and her job to insure your educational future and provide for you both. The love and support of all around her was constant, even if it has been minimized or unnoticed.
As a general statement, we remind ourselves that the pain or life experiences inside a person can effect the choices and direction they take. As an example, some could make decisions out of self-preservation or protection of personal fears or experiences – and some can be made out of anger, pain or even an inability to separate personal past life experience from what is current or present day experiences. Transference of these emotions can interfere with relationships and can contribute to actions that affect others. Our experience as parents and with many of the life experiences we had over the course of many years and with many children of very different personalities is only a small window looking into a vast amount of research on how drastic changes during childhood effect the grown child. And each person is individually unique as to how they cope and handle the struggles they face.
Our love for you two and this sad and heartbreaking situation of not seeing you both, are very real and will not be without issue in years to come for you both. The hope is that you will understand that EVERYONE involved truly loves you. Everyone believes they are doing what is best. Everyone is hopeful you will be happy, successful, healthy individuals. Everyone of us believes in your courage and you as individuals. It can only help you both to as adults know that you never did anything wrong. You never hurt anyone. You were without options, and in the middle of something far bigger than could be conceptualized. The break in your hearts is why we write. The fact is you’re entire world changed – and people you depended upon and hugged every night, laughed played with and trusted have become the “enemy” in your new journey. The purpose of reiterating how loved you have been, showing you the truth in images, and sparking the feelings of joy and happiness are to help you know your foundation was full of love, and so many caring and loving people. Feeling goodness, happiness as a child, prideful of the time spent with your family here in the Mitten will play into your adult lives, for if you’re to believe it was bad, or evil enough to warrant your own grandparents to be treated as though they are criminal ? Then you will have been stripped of the truth and your childhood would be marred with dysfunction that did not exist !
It is our hope that in the best possible scenario – there has been a huge misunderstanding that lead is all to this course of events – we hope that one day truth will be seen and relationships fixed. For now, we worry for you two the effect it will have upon you , we think of what must be inside of our own daughter to have her change so drastically ? We worry for her because we are her parents, and she grew up with so much family and their love surrounding her – every single day. Love she could not see nor could she trust. So many people who have helped her so many times in so many different ways , and believed love would be enough to prove to her the importance of family. People who hoped for the best and that their worth or value, and the trust being given would be accepted and appreciated. That a family would be important. Our daughter loves her children – that is undeniable. What is debated between us – seems to lay in the value she has for her own parents once her life and the lives of her children.
We all have choices to make in life, And we all make choices that don’t always prove to work out as we hope. The fact is – no matter what things may have appeared to be from the time you left the Mitten- to the day your big enough to read these love letters, no matter what you could have been led to believe or assumed as small children who only ever loved us both and wanted to say good night every night, or get hugs and kisses, good night dream starters and monitor sweet dream wishes, that would lead you to not want to see or speak to us ?, or maybe it’s more that you didn’t want to displease your parents , regardless, the fact remains…
We love you both, to the moon and back-
Poppy and I would not change anything in our lives that led us to each other, we are grateful for all of our children and the decisions we made to have a family, we would not change any decision we ever made to welcome you to know and love you as we do, and have you live with us. We would not change anything in all the years your were with us, and we know how truly happy you were during those years.
What we would hope to change in the future – is to NOT see history repeat itself- AND WOULD PREFER instead to aid in the healing of what happens when innocent children lose significant people, caregivers they love from their lives abruptly and lives get thrown into new challenges that are so different from what is known.
Knowing you have a mom who loves you both, knowing you have grandparents who love you both and sharing your lives with family that all care for you is developmentally significant. These are true facts – you have so much ahead so much to be grateful for, and so many good and wonderful things to experience. We will travel that road with you, even if only in your hearts always, and one day we will hopefully see you and spend time with you again !
To the moon and back we love you both ,
forever and for always,
❤️Nana and Poppy❤️🍪