Another wish …

 

Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

How many ways can a Nana and Poppy say they love you ?    How many different words can we send to make you feel our love and our wishes for happiness?     The hope that you are loving new adventures is sincere.   The hope that you’re all doing well and adjusting is constant.     Things in the Mitten have been icy and cold in terms of weather and all your family here is doing well.

Uncle David continues to work hard every day to fight his own medical battle and he is a true warrior.    All of your great grandparents are doing well and surely send love and kisses.    Poppy and I keep as busy as can be and have settled in to our home a bit more, admittedly it has been very difficult.    This past year has brought us so much change for us as well .    The time both of us spend sending these love letters is important to us both and it is so full of happy memories that it brings our love and gratitude to the forefront each day or when ever we have a chance to write.

Gratitude for time spent together and the warmth felt when remembering the things you both did, said, and how each day had it’s own special memory.   Rides to school and pick up  each day, with so many tales of the day, dream starters and all of the ‘specials’ we did together, the little nuances of life that we have not ever taken for granted seem to bring us smiles as we write and read this journal of love.

We look forward to a day where we can see each other again, share in your new adventures, and see those smiles!   Until we do we continue to hold on to the knowledge that your foundation here in the Mitten was strong enough and full of love that it will help you all the days of your lives.   The education was such a great start and you were both such amazing students, friends, and actually lived each day full of compassion, caring, and commitment to giving your best.   These things don’t disappear either – they are foundational and will be useful in all you do in life.    We love you both to the moon and back,

forever and for always

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

 

 

Moments in time ….

 

Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

This is a memory from my “on this date”.    Cheerleading was your moms idea.  She loved it as a girl and then you loved it too.    They did not however love the traveling aspect and level of competition you were involved in and decided to change you into other activities.

One of many changes in your world that happened overnight.    All changes leading to good things and happiness,  we are hopeful.    Yet since these photos came along – in my photo stream and we looked at them and said look at that smile … look at the pure joy … there is no way we will ever believe you were unhappy and nothing will change that you were literally begging to call Poppy last time I spoke to you on FaceTime.  You were promised that you could the next day.   Never happened.    There is something so very wrong and yet the dilemma is, how does a small child chose – knowing it would sadden their parent or parents  whom they love deeply,  parents whom have shown or proven to  them they are all powerful, will change every aspect of their lives, and all they have is what the parents deem acceptable, their memories have been manipulated and forced to leave behind any part of who they have been.   This need to survive, to feel loved and to please and all the while knowing how they loved us, how they loved their time in the Mitten – but in admitting it, or feeling that , in doing so they would be , letting down their mom and dad.    The choice on the part of us, both your Nana and Poppy is -to not contribute to the hurt.   Our desire is Not to make harder the situation, but rather make sure you know we asked, called, texted,  emailed, mailed,  begged and to each and every request the response given is that we have been cut out like a kindergartner curs our paper snowflakes- and this series of letters.   This dedication to prevent repeated history , and let two more children fall victim to feelings of distrust and abandonment, we write to make certain you know you’re loved by all, that there is great sorrow for how you two  have been innocent in all of this,  and how broken your souls could end up to be by the severing of such important ties.   These letters are to say.  DO NOT BE SAD, do not be mad, simply try to understand there are many different individual ideas in this world.   To believe in love and family to believe in kindness respect and human compassion.    It is all good and having respect and love for your parents is important to your future children and to yourselves.     Your mom and dad will one day likely have grandchildren- and they will learn from you how to treat others.     How to respect differences and to pass on values.   Mom and Nana have had so many discussions in the past about how raising children “does not come with a book of instructions”, and one thing we can hope she will see very soon – is that her children deserve to have all of the family they grew up around for nine and six years of their lives.   Their entire lives until 12 months ago… and in 365 days if something has happened to change their hearts, that will have to be owned by whole ever has created such falsehood.   If they wish to see or speak to us and have been forbidden – or are afraid to ask – we’ll all we can do is hope that there is a change.    An effort –  To put aside any issue that has been convoluted and distorted from partial truths into this great divide, for our own daughter to put aside her lack of faith in those who have loved her, put aside her feelings towards those she paonts as less than good and loving , and hear the heart of her children.   If she cannot trust and believe in her own parents – then we can only hope one day soon she see clearly that she had the very best father, the very best Poppy to her children, that any person could ever hope for.   As to me, I am far from perfect.  Yet it is our hope she will see me as a woman who loved her- no one can ever tell me different ,  a person who tried to give her the piece that was missing from deep within her, taken from her around the same age( a bit younger)  as Guillianna was when she left the Mitten.     I was the best parent I could be, loved to the depth of my soul and to the broken hearted, it was not enough.   There is no way ever that her grown children will ever be able to forget the love of great grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and their Nana and Poppy.    The memories can be twisted and attempts can be made to change those memories, but the reality is they are real and honest memories.    The effort made to forget people, leave behind memories,  or change the good memories into something bad – only has potential to hurt innocent children.

The website was made before this little man was born -as a matter of fact the domain name was purchased about three years before he was born -hence its name, guillianna.com, the love letters written then were to help our daughter see her child every day !   To share with her the detail and events –  to bridge the distance.    Then when Elijah was born the domain name had to  stay the same, but the title went from ALL ABOUT GUILLIANNA to ALL ABOUT GUILLIANNA AND ELIJAH, and has since changed from ‘love letters to mom and dad’, to ‘love letters to Guillianna and Elijah’.

These letters of love are not an embarrassment, they are not a source of anything bad or destructive.   They area gift, they are to show innocent little lives that no one abandoned them, that they are not responsible for any of this, that they are very good people and they were always very happy .  These letters are to defend the truth, to put in place a way for young adults to understand what is impossible for even adults to comprehend.    There are tens of thousands of images, documents and all kinds of evidence to chronical the lives of Nana and Poppy.    The journey we have been on, and the time that has passed – this information and these photos –  cannot be twisted into lies. For every image there is a story, for every moment in the time that was spent in the Mitten- there is – has been, and always will be, love. ❤️

We love you Guillianna and Elijah, to the moon and back –

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

MLK Day 2019

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Today is Monday and it is Martin Luther King Day- whom I am certain you are learning about at school.   I  also think you may have today off school.   As your long weekend comes to an end and you prepare for a new week this love letter as are all the others is to send you a message of more love.     This holiday is supposed to remind us of the importance of  treating others with kindness, respect.  To value human life.   To live in a world where all humans are treated with equality and diversity is not only acceptable but welcomed.     We hope that one day soon your able to see us again, that the feelings of kindness prevail and a bridge can be formed to see that everyone loves both of you,  no matter where or how the love originated no matter if we are grandparents, or “just babysitters” or “dispensable” to your parents, no matter what issues have clouded the vision of dreams and  have precluded the potential that exists for love to win; we hope you will always know that when you allow the heart to feel, the doors to happiness will open.

Never will your Nana and Poppy feel there are choices to make in love- we hope for you to have love for your mom and dad, to be allowed to love all your family, be it grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and know there is no choosing, no need to deny yourselves the love of anyone else in order to make Nana and Poppy pleased.  Know  that the memories are true and good that nothing can change them.   We have no idea what you’ve been told – the questions you must have like, “why doesn’t anyone call you? What happened to all of us in the Mitten and to the family and friends you had been so close with ?    Why do you not see any of us?  Why have you been unable to talk to the great grandparents who have always loved you both ?”   What possible reason could be given to small children for such huge loss and withdrawal?     Are these people you loved so much, all so awful that you must be withheld?   Are you to believe we were temporary? We are bad?    Are you to believe no one cares?    What could you have been told ?   Or are you currently being told?    Are you so afraid to ask can we call Nana and Poppy?  After all,   last we spoke you were begging to talk to Poppy but given the answer that it was too late ( at 7:30) and would call the next day .   The next day never came… maybe it was Elijah giving the thumbs down about not coming to stay at Nanas now that daddy was out of the army, after he asked to see his bedroom, or that you wanted to talk to Poppy and now that promise – to call, has turned into months.    He has not seen your faces or heard your voices for so long and what could be the possible reason you have been given?   What will be the effect of such action?    How far is this set of circumstances,  from the message of respect kindness and love that we as humans should create and live by?

Love letters to you both are meant to give you feelings of constant and sincere love and compassion.    Support of the emotions you may have, and are an attempt to say we hope you will one day be free to  know love to and from mom and dad is so important to healthy lives , and it is ok to love them as your parents and it is okay for you to still love and care for all the others in your heart.    For Nana and Poppy our love is unconditional- where ever your journey takes you the memories that fill the pages here are as real as can be.   They can show you the historical journey and in turn help your future.    They won’t change, and the past cannot change.    The today – The tomorrow – The hope- these are  what embody each and every letter written.   Love and respect you have for mom and dad is good,  and the life that is at this point your reality,  is, and has been chosen for you.   Love for all- respect for parents and still freedom to love or communicate with others in your family will be your right and free choice.   It will be a decision you can make with fact and documentation that supports or helps you understand a little better the dynamics that exist causing you this horrible divide.     The rational  that led to such decisions, and if the details of event have not been accurately depicted – they will be and you will then be able to better understand how it is possible to love and honor your parents and still have love and a place comfortable happy and like home inside when it comes to your grandparents.

When you are old enough to be independent in your actions, your thoughts and to follow your heart there WILL be NO choice for you to make.   You will not ever have to choose between talking to, seeing, and loving your mom and dad, and others you love who are not your parents.   These feelings are so important and must be protected .   We used to watch video of mom and dad when you were small.  We honored them and the service they were doing.  Day after day, moth after month, and now year ,  we hope for them to see that your happiness and balance – the importance of not alienating the two people who have stayed with you day in and day out for nearly 9 years,  is more important to seek your happiness and healthy relationships than it is to try to hurt!   We spent so much time teaching you about their love for you , the service and the good they were doing.   We helped as much as we could in the years of care we gave.  We shared with them every single moment possible to bring unity and closeness despite the distance.    We would not ever want you to change those values, principles that we lived with you – and would always support and want  love for your parents to be present .    What has happened to cause them to want this divide we may not ever truthfully know- we only have the facts that you can have when you’re 18 to get any kind of answers as to what or what happened so very long ago  to impact you both or influence  this matter.     What we can hope is that one day they will want you to feel loved, share in the love, experience the love , and have the balance you’re deserving of.     Something has clouded that for now and even if it continues, there will be a day where you can love, see, speak to us without ever having to choose between, and simply have  all those you love in your lives.

Today as every other day , we love your both , to the moon and back,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Long ago – doesn’t mean unimportant and forgotten .

 Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

We are almost to the end of January 2019 already ?   Time sure does have a way of moving forward.    Despite anything that happens time does keep going forward.   But long ago – will not ever mean forgotten.    Not for us.    The thousands of photographs we have of you two from birth thru all your lives up until last December are so precious to us.  They are the proof of truth and the reality of what happiness look like!   Where you spent your early years and how happy you were will always be an important part of who you are.    The love and support you have known are not a guarantee for future success and happiness but the memories are without doubt pieces of happiness that belong to you, to all you’ve touched in the years in the Mitten,  in an otherwise crazy world.    Moments that if kept special and pure in your mind can grow and blossom into all kinds of good and wonder.  These snapshots or glimpse of the past can translate Into positivity, joy, understanding,  and all kinds of other gifts for you both  a gifts that can be shared and that you will be able to pass on to others.  Even the hard times can be used to strengthen and build your character, to aid in teaching you both  to be resilient.    I know how hard that has been for us as grown ups these recent months –  so we cannot image how you’ve struggled .

We are forever grateful, we love you both …

There aren’t words for the love in our hearts and the amount of hope we feel for you and all of your family to be happy and healthy always .

We love you both to the moon and back –

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?