Missing you both – forever for always !

Nana March 27, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

It occurs to us,  that as the year mark  since you last FaceTimed Nana approaches, we are becoming all but a distant memory.     One that has been altered to fit the new agenda – we have been molded in your minds now as people who did bad thing – bad enough to warrant your removal from our lives and the lives of every single person you ever knew for the first 9 years of Guillianna’s life and the first 6 almost 7 years of Elijah’s life.       The truth is we loved you, and love you both,  more than words.   Always remember that ❤️   We still ❤️You so much.     The truth is we also  love our daughter, your mom,  but her mind has painted a picture that only she insists is ’real’.    Her father who loved and cared for her, her mother who loved and cared for her have come to realize how broken the heart of a little girl in Romania truly was.    She too experienced the loss of all she knew for 8 years time.   The person, her biological mom was the primary care giver to her until she became sick with cancer.   Her grandmother there who is now 100 years old, tried to care for all the children but couldn’t.    Her older siblings could not care for all the younger girls and so they were left to the care of a Romanian orphanage.      This is where we first met your mom.   We also went to the village where she was born and we met some of her remaining family there. The simple truth is the people who loved and cared for her, from a child’s perspective , were no longer there. She had no say.   She had no choice.   She did her best to cope.   She was brave and strong. She was my hero and we worked so hard to earn her trust through all her life.    Much of this is in the papers and documents you will one day have access to if and when questions arise.    The reality is there was such a monumental and inherent distrust, such a huge hurdle for her as a small child.      She loved deeply the people who cared for her when she was small.  No one left her love letters.  No one helped her when she went to the orphanage and her development as a small girl was forever changed.     Poppy and Nana love mom and want her to be happy.   Her inability to recognize us as her parents, the pain she seemingly felt over your attachment to Nana and Poppy has made her remove us from your lives and search for reasons and blame!    There was no drinking of vinegar as she has written to us, she says Elijah said this and Guillianna verified it.   It is not truth -she never asked us ?  Never once.  She didn’t want to know truth.  She wanted an excuse to remove us by vilifying the job we did in their absence.     The truth in that story –  – is simple,  and this is it-  when UPTOWN FUNK became a huge issue with an inappropriate “f” word replacing the word “funk” in front of friends at play dates and school, vinegar was placed on a paper towel – and touched to Eli’s tongue.   In the years of the care you received in the Mitten you were adorned with our love,  time attention and we also patented in their absence.   We cared for you when sick we laughed and played we ensured socialization opportunities, extra curricular activities and made the educational and emotions needs were met.   To say that either of you were even remotely unhappy while living  in the Mitten is not truthful .    To paint the image that either of you were mistreated is a blatant lie and one that was used to break the bonds you had formed with your grandparents and all the family here in the Mitten.

In life you will  one day find, everything all events impact our lives.    And inside of  each person – there is view point or opinion that lends a hand in how you feel and what you’re able to take from these experiences in childhood .    You will formulate and grow upon them.    To anything you’ve been led to believe for this last year and into the future , we will hope you can hold the memories of all the wonderful moments you had close to your heart.

All of our lives are changing.    We grow and change and learn; and yet some things stay the same and cannot be altered.   The love letters we write are intended to let you know that despite the similarities you could find as small children whose entire lives were altered dramatically  and abruptly, the two of you will have these love  letters and hopefully when you’re older you’ll be able to balance the love you have for both Poppy and I with the love you feel for your mom and dad.  A task no child should have to do.    And it is sad and unfair to you both that you will have that burden to carry .   Your parents have been clear that they feel cutting people out of their lives like a kindergartener cuts out paper snowflakes is acceptable and good.    We cannot likely ever agree upon this principle and it will be your decision one day in the future how you will choose to treat others.    I’ll hope that you will recognize the hard work and dedication your mom and dad put forth and the love they have for both of you.     I will hope that you’ll both be  able to forgive that the inability of a grown up to heal the  trauma of a past  has become  your burden to carry.   You will have this knowledge the ability to communicate with all the others you have known in life.  That you will see the love of all your Aunts and Uncles, cousins and Great Grandparents,  and balance it  with the love you have for your mom and dad.     It is a horrible feeling for a child to have to choose between people they only ever truly lived in all of us, and the love and approval of your parents.     So please know , you need not choose.     You simply need to love, learn, grown, and know you are loved.   Always loved.   From here to the moon and back – forever and for always –

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Another birthday –

Nana March 24, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Great Grandma Sharyn’s birthday came and went without hearing from mommy, her grand-daughter…. so sad , and also  another birthday passed by in your home , one that we have been told – “no gift no contact” or we would “be taken to court for harassment” !?!   Family events, birthdays, connections had always been among your favorite things.    I read one of the letters I received from your mom a while ago, as I was preparing some documents – and it was clear that the intent is to make you hate… hate all you once knew and change what was once fact into fiction or have it be forgotten.   It is clear that in order for you to press forward to ‘earn’ the support and love every child desires from their parent you must hide all you ever remember.  You will be taught to hate and resent.    It’s also clear that the distancing, the name calling that is our burden will likely become you’re view, that your Nana and Poppy are “toxic, narcissistic” people.      It was our hope that your good memories would be sincere and deep rooted in your lives, but in all reality the first nine and six years of your lives will not likely resonate with you very long.     I write this letter today to say – our lives  will  be forever changed by the convoluted misinformation that has come out in these past months.    A little girl and boy who loved their grandparents so very much – who are worthy of so much love and to have had active grandparents in us as part of their lives have been denied.      Some could say the innocent  have literally  been victimized by the needs of the adult situation.    The reality is in all the first nine and six years of your lives,   Nana and Poppy had a very special relationship with both of you because you lived with us so much of the time.     That unique environment led to accusations that we favor some grandchildren over others , that led to ideas that Nana and Poppy  show “favor” to some of their own children …. these opinions were voice by mom to us.    Memories of how she felt second to her own brother.    Similar to memories she had when she lived n Romania and her brothers were allowed to stay home but some of the girls were sent to an orphanage.      For every single moment of every single day as a child she felt it unfair and she struggled desperately to cope with her anger and frustration at her complex and sorrowful issues with her Romanian family.     The idea that we have somehow “lied” to you.   That we mistreated you ?   That you have felt a need to support stories that Nana and Poppy were unkind or not caring …. that you have said we did bad things or did wrong by either of you ?   Is beyond sorrowful.   Nana and Poppy never will forget the love, the hugs, the fun, the laughter, the playtime ….

just the other day Poppy found text messages from you, or videos you made…  we are hopeful that you will be able to take all we have for you and make sense of this one day.    Know that we simply hope to minimize the childhood trauma of losing so many people you loved.        All your relatives clearly are missing you loving you wanting your happiness and peace.      The idea that we are toxic is an opinion.     That will become yours in the care  of people who have so little respect, so much hatred and so much trauma.    The entire time you were in the Mitten they didn’t often speak to your other grandparents, and now you do so maybe there is hope that one day a nice turn of events that allows you the opportunity to share your lives with all your family and still have the love and respect of your mom and dad –    That your relationship with all you love can have balance.      We cannot tell you in enough ways or enough times how loved you are!

A year ago Valentine’s Day this began to seem so odd, we sent both of you gifts.    Yet there was something said that Guillianna didn’t get one ?    And was crushed …”do not to say anything to her” –   We see now – It was the beginning of a plan to remove the attachment    And the list card or love letters sent were demanded to be stopped.    It has been a progression that seems to all fit in place with the motives.

You two used to talk to Elena and Gray. (And even little Cole ).    Until there was a general post put on Facebook by dad,  and items in it were negative and berating to the role of a mother in law – since then – this goes back quite a bit now, but ever since you’ve not been allowed to FaceTime your cousins and other family members “unfriended” or cut out of life .    People you love  will not ever be disposable to most people.  Yet there are those who feel that philosophy is best.     Nana and Poppy assume you’re told that we are bad parents.   That we are bad grandparents.   You will end up believing what you will.    We can hope for you to have peace and happiness.

The idea that we have had some hard lessons handed to us by our children, some horrible events for us , has in fact changed us.    The pathway between father daughter and mom  for us is seemingly irreparable, but your Poppy is the eternal optimist.     He has no idea how to help  his own daughter find the love, respect and kindness she was always shown, that are core principles on which he has lived his whole life.    We cannot make others see what they do not want to see, yet the hope cannot be taken from either of us .

Youre likely going to have a break from school soon – and we will hope it’s full of fun and laughter for you.     The truth may always be hidden, or the truths you yourselves know to be true – may remain tucked away for ever, but that will not stop the wishes for you both.     We love you to the moon and back,

forever and for always ,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GG Sharyn !

Nana March 21, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah-

Last year on this day we thought surely your mom would have you call and tell Great Grandma Sharyn HAPPY BIRTHDAY – she did not.

Great Grandma has always been kind and loving. She has supported your mom though out all her life.   She has only ever shown unconditional love and has never done anything mean or harmful to anyone.   Her greatest joy is when her children and their families are happy.     The truth is the truth and she is as good a person as anyone could ever hope to be.    Nicer than anyone we know and deserving of respect and kindness.   Today she has another birthday and we can hope our daughter will take a close look at how she has been supported by her family and especially great Grandma Sharyn and ask herself when it is enough.     It seems that even a criminal would be treated with greater kindness than the mental anguish and torture that has been brought upon so many in this family great grandparents.   Your grandparents , and mommy’s  grand parents have no value to some , but we do know the value that you both have on family.     We know the love you have always had for your Mitten State family and we send you a love letter to say – it’s ok that you could not say hello.  It’s  ok that happy Birthday wishes were banned.   These actions are not a reflection upon yourselves.   These are choices made for you by someone else who themselves have no value upon, or  or any experience themselves,   on how to show respect for family for parent or grandparent,  or how to honor those in their lives that protected them, sheltered them, loved them, and raised them .     You were shown when you were small how we celebrate family.    You loved, lived, and throughly enjoyed the family.     The lessons learned this day and since last year have been handed to you and when your older you will find the code of ethics, honor, value and beliefs  that you will feel best suit you.       Know this, we will tell great Grandma happy birthday for you.   We will share memories of happier times, we will smile and we will hold those beautiful memories close until we one day meet again.     And if for any reason that day doesn’t come in our lifetimes, know that you’re loved, you’re not to blame, and your missed deeply.

This is quite a long time ago ….

We have so many memories to reflect upon

 That nothing can change the sincere and pure love you have had for any of us, or the love they have had for you !

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Happy St Patrick’s Day!

Nana March 17, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah –

Wishing you a Happy St Patty’s day !   The Irish games at NDPMA will be in full swing and we had lots of fun memories of those didn’t we?     I bet you likely have report cards coming out soon or just out and I want you to know we are so proud of you both !   You have been at the new school for about a year now.    Less the summer break.    Yet I am sure you have so much to be proud of.    We love you both so much and we hope that you will always give your best effort in all you do.   There are things that can’t always be measured in the letter grade, things that show in how you treat others, how hard you try, the attitude you have about learning and all of these combined are so important as you grow.     We are certain you are making yourselves proud as well as everyone around you proud !    All  of the people in the Mitten who have known and loved you all your lives til you were removed from all our lives,  are cheering for you – kinda just like during Irish week at your old school.   Team work, dedication, effort, the passion to make this world a better place!    Keep up the good work guys… know we are always with you, and will always be wishing you Elijah’s favorite words when he was a student at NDPMA,  “ardent love”, love for your mom and dad and everyone that is reciprocated by those around you making this transition you’ve experience easier and less difficult.  Know we will not ever forget you two.  We will always be devastated by the choices our daughter has allowed to take place,  resulting in this destruction of sincere and deep love.   The most sad thing for us, is this is a repeat for you both, of loss.  To create for you both, a deep loss of love, a deep loss of true and deep trust, and attatchment, that you now get to carry as she has for her entire life, will be yours to bear as well.   We, as your extended family will do our very best to let you know, you were not abandoned, you were not mistreated, you were not unhappy, you were not ever responsible for any of the heartbreak.   You will likely be angry at times, mad we did not change the course of the “dislike” and for lack of any better term, the hate shown to you by the disconnect your parents thrust upon all of us.  Know it is not your fault.   The trauma of the past, is affecting you both, and everyone around, but it is not your fault.   It is like the PTSD you once learned about at school.   Trauma, loss of family, loss of everything familiar and anger over lack of control has guided decisions, and actions in this.   It will now be your history as well.   It is sad that you are forced to carry such heartache, and adapt to the reality that if you love, if you miss, you will hurt people you love.   Just like when you were told by daddy about not crying as a small child.   If you cried, you made sad the person you only ever wanted to please.     Now if you love or miss us, you would betray the love you so desparatley want.     This is not your fault, this is not your burden.   We will always love you both, we will always want your happiness we will write and let you know youre thought of, and that we hope all your dreams become reality.   You, unlike our own children, will have the ability to kmow….. what they did not.

We love you both, to the moon and back,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?