Missing you both – forever for always !
Dear Guillianna and Elijah-
It occurs to us, that as the year mark since you last FaceTimed Nana approaches, we are becoming all but a distant memory. One that has been altered to fit the new agenda – we have been molded in your minds now as people who did bad thing – bad enough to warrant your removal from our lives and the lives of every single person you ever knew for the first 9 years of Guillianna’s life and the first 6 almost 7 years of Elijah’s life. The truth is we loved you, and love you both, more than words. Always remember that ❤️ We still ❤️You so much. The truth is we also love our daughter, your mom, but her mind has painted a picture that only she insists is ’real’. Her father who loved and cared for her, her mother who loved and cared for her have come to realize how broken the heart of a little girl in Romania truly was. She too experienced the loss of all she knew for 8 years time. The person, her biological mom was the primary care giver to her until she became sick with cancer. Her grandmother there who is now 100 years old, tried to care for all the children but couldn’t. Her older siblings could not care for all the younger girls and so they were left to the care of a Romanian orphanage. This is where we first met your mom. We also went to the village where she was born and we met some of her remaining family there. The simple truth is the people who loved and cared for her, from a child’s perspective , were no longer there. She had no say. She had no choice. She did her best to cope. She was brave and strong. She was my hero and we worked so hard to earn her trust through all her life. Much of this is in the papers and documents you will one day have access to if and when questions arise. The reality is there was such a monumental and inherent distrust, such a huge hurdle for her as a small child. She loved deeply the people who cared for her when she was small. No one left her love letters. No one helped her when she went to the orphanage and her development as a small girl was forever changed. Poppy and Nana love mom and want her to be happy. Her inability to recognize us as her parents, the pain she seemingly felt over your attachment to Nana and Poppy has made her remove us from your lives and search for reasons and blame! There was no drinking of vinegar as she has written to us, she says Elijah said this and Guillianna verified it. It is not truth -she never asked us ? Never once. She didn’t want to know truth. She wanted an excuse to remove us by vilifying the job we did in their absence. The truth in that story – – is simple, and this is it- when UPTOWN FUNK became a huge issue with an inappropriate “f” word replacing the word “funk” in front of friends at play dates and school, vinegar was placed on a paper towel – and touched to Eli’s tongue. In the years of the care you received in the Mitten you were adorned with our love, time attention and we also patented in their absence. We cared for you when sick we laughed and played we ensured socialization opportunities, extra curricular activities and made the educational and emotions needs were met. To say that either of you were even remotely unhappy while living in the Mitten is not truthful . To paint the image that either of you were mistreated is a blatant lie and one that was used to break the bonds you had formed with your grandparents and all the family here in the Mitten.
In life you will one day find, everything all events impact our lives. And inside of each person – there is view point or opinion that lends a hand in how you feel and what you’re able to take from these experiences in childhood . You will formulate and grow upon them. To anything you’ve been led to believe for this last year and into the future , we will hope you can hold the memories of all the wonderful moments you had close to your heart.
All of our lives are changing. We grow and change and learn; and yet some things stay the same and cannot be altered. The love letters we write are intended to let you know that despite the similarities you could find as small children whose entire lives were altered dramatically and abruptly, the two of you will have these love letters and hopefully when you’re older you’ll be able to balance the love you have for both Poppy and I with the love you feel for your mom and dad. A task no child should have to do. And it is sad and unfair to you both that you will have that burden to carry . Your parents have been clear that they feel cutting people out of their lives like a kindergartener cuts out paper snowflakes is acceptable and good. We cannot likely ever agree upon this principle and it will be your decision one day in the future how you will choose to treat others. I’ll hope that you will recognize the hard work and dedication your mom and dad put forth and the love they have for both of you. I will hope that you’ll both be able to forgive that the inability of a grown up to heal the trauma of a past has become your burden to carry. You will have this knowledge the ability to communicate with all the others you have known in life. That you will see the love of all your Aunts and Uncles, cousins and Great Grandparents, and balance it with the love you have for your mom and dad. It is a horrible feeling for a child to have to choose between people they only ever truly lived in all of us, and the love and approval of your parents. So please know , you need not choose. You simply need to love, learn, grown, and know you are loved. Always loved. From here to the moon and back – forever and for always –
❤️Nana and Poppy❤️🍪