When you miss those you love, where do you go?

Lisa March 7, 2019 0Comments

Dear Guillianna and Elijah,

We have given so much thought to the reality, the absolute fact, that when we last saw you there was so much love in your hearts, love for us, for everyone in the Mitten, there was so much happiness, laughter and fun every single day, and then as you left there was clearly so many tears, sobbing and so much desire to be in contact; however, now the claim is that you do not want to see your Nana and Poppy.   Verbatim, the reasons for this change in your feelings, we heard months after you left – , is that you were “lied to”, and you were made to “drink vinegar”.  No child,  and I mean no child of ours, no grandchild, was ever made to “drink vinegar”.   Yet, it is evident, that someone has taken minuscule pieces of half truths, and has manipulated  them in such a manner, that it is truly more than just sad , it’s viscous.   These contortions, are and have been leading to the premise, or an inference,  that your grandparents are vile people.   The accusatory nature is reminiscent of a pre teen behaviour once known , something peeveiousky witnessed in our lifetime,  that we had thought was past, and emotions of ore America healed, and youthful tantrums or distrust matured.   When we learned you two would be moving out of the Mitten, it was told to us that the five year plan had to change as there was a support reason that was mandated.   That mom was being forced to move.  That was the initial story we were told after your procedure in late 2017.  It has evolved through the weeks and months since you have left.   There truly is no telling what new turns and what the story will become as the years progress.   It seems that the trauma of youth is still claiming and destroying present day relationships and affecting so many innocent lives.

Suddenly, on this very website not too long ago, the statement, the blame was made that it is the two of you, that do not want to FaceTime.  As factual as the sun rising and setting each day,  during our last conversation you couldn’t wait to call Poppy, and it was utterly clear you wanted to see him, to talk, asking to call, but being denied for it “was 7:30pm and bedtime, you had school” the next morning. ” Can we call on the way to school?” and just like that the call was over and not a word from you two since.   Something is so off, so wrong, and the only thing we can remotely assimilate is that if there is any truth to YOU DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO US, it is that since you have had such drastic change, such loss, and feel we have not been able to help you, that you want so badly to have the approval, love and support of mom and dad, that you know how much dislike and actual hatred existed for Poppy and Nana , that ultimately, for your own emotional survival, you must do what it takes to win emotional security,  or maybe, you have been made to believe we are bad somehow and that we have done something so horrific, that we are unworthy of the common decency or kindness shown to any parent or grandparent.  Maybe it is just too hard for you, and so unfair,  to be in the middle, victims of the polarity, the opposite ends of this spectrum that is not to do with you in any way shape or form.

You’re innocent in all of this, and it is our hope that the feelings of others, will not continue to be projected upon your lives.  You not ever feel badly for not being able to say hi, see us, talk with us, share with us for it is not your fault.   The day all the other grandparents were at your new school, greeting the children, or celebrating grandparents day, the sorrow in your hearts,  the emotional load you carried, memories of the grandparent days with Nana and Poppy at Notre Dame, the burden must have been so great.   Please know,  we were not invited, we did not forget you, please know you must never believe we didn’t care.  Never think we ever have left you by our choice, for we have not.   We cannot fix the broken hearts of children, who never got to hear the words they so needed to hear.   Words like these, words that crossed any distance, and were spoken from the deepest place in the heart, to say “YOU ARE LOVED, AND ALWAYS WILL BE LOVED.”  There was no way for our kids who had lost faith, and felt they could not trust ANYONE, who felt jealous of brothers who never were sent away, and could not communicate how they felt…. these unresolved issues were instrumental in so many preventable events.  We hope that with pieces of truth, and an understanding that every one around you, from your parents to all the family, loves you – the outcome will be adults who can change the patterns, not let historical events repeat themselves, change the outcome with kindness, love and education behind the rock solid foundation you lived for so many years in the Mitten.

We love you both, from here to the moon and back,

forever and for always,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?

Vintage Web Design, I know but … keeping some things the same…

Lisa September 4, 2018 0Comments

We give you our hearts forever !    You always gave Elena Sebastian, Gray and Cole all  your  Love in the Mitten .    And you’re the best cousins ever ! We always hope you get to see Aunt Kiki Uncle Ricky, Anthony and Janae ( Mia when she is there )  since they are so so so so close!    I did send KiKi over  to deliver those special goodies once – so hopefully you know she is so close by .    You were both always helping others and even earned IB awards for being caring and Brag Tags for simply being the best kids ever.  Hope you remember those things when you feel sad, or lonely. You just have to have faith and know that one day it will all get better- some how some way !  Until then here is a new love letter for today ….

Sweet baby Eli….

and also……

Sweet baby Guillianna…

We have thousands of photos to share with you two, from first smiles… first teeth, first foods, first crawl, first swim, first steps, birthdays, holidays.   These love letters are only a glimpse into the foundational time you two spent in the Mitten.  And as we grow we all forget being this small.   Photos help us remember and the joy – and look at the faces in the photos- they tell a story.   This site is full of memories.  Just type in a word, type in a date, search “Halloween”, search “Valentines Day”, the site will offer you any of the love letters on file matching your word or date request.     Your lives are chronicled and preserved.  Oddly enough the letters began to help Mom and Dad see you and allow them to share in your begining firsts from afar.   Now they serve as reality for both of you- a touchstone and a rememberance of the time with us and the begining years of both of your lives.  The are compelling and beautiful memories, that no one can change or ever dispute, no one can manipulate, change or create the facts of your days in the Mitten to be anything less than full of love.

Dear Guillianna and Elijah,

These love letters when viewed on a mobile phone –  had to have an updated more modern style in order to be read,  and yet when viewed on a laptop or desktop format,  its visable in the original unchanged appearance which is the same as when we began this journey nearly a decade ago.  The desktop format has not been updated, or upgraded even though the technology has changed so drastically.  It’s light pink hue was perfect long ago, and it was my thought that sometimes it is a nice thing for both of you to have something familiar to look back at.   Every single thing in your lives changed when you were moved.   All your belongings stayed.  The only thing you each were able to take was a box, and the Christmas gifts from under the tree.   No bikes, none of your toys,  years worth of belongings books and collections and all your clothes- were left behind.   So these letters are being sent, and will hopefully allow us the chance to offer you a look at the years we have saved in photos and letters,  and share them with you one day – so you remember how truly good the times living here in the Mitten were for both of you.   These older posts dating back to 2009 were always filled with photos and memories.   Afterall, you will surely remember how  we used to peek at the pictures often, especially in the evenings as a sort of ‘fun time’ or ‘bedtime’ dreamstarter.   So for now and as long as the technology is compatible we will leave it as is.    For those who pull it up on a cell phone –  it may be missing the old pink vintage touch, but the content is the same.     Either way it’s historical proof of what was , what is , and what always exists.

Poppy and I send love letters  because we cannot imagine any other way to cope with the crazy idea that you cannot are or speak to people you loved with for so very long .  We have no idea what else we can do in this current situation.   Last we saw your faces, you were missing us, when you left you were promised to be able to call us anytime you wanted.  You were told you would be back in a few weeks- we heard that promise made to you so that you could follow up on your surgery.  There is so much that is confusing to everyone, the one thing we thought could maybe help is that one day all the photos, the love letters, the memories could maybe, lift your hearts and help you both.   Your family loves you.   Everyone in the Mitten too , all are wishing you happiness and that your hearts are full of love.

I have posted these letters as a way of trying to heal,  what I feel may be so terribly sad,  for you both.   Knowing your need to please and make others happy, not wanting to make anyone upset, or let them know how much you miss all you once knew has to be so very hard on you.    This is the first time ever in all the years that we helped, that you have been kept from calling for so long and so many people here are worried and simply wish they could help.     I know change, especially when it is abrupt or sudden,  is hard.  I watched how similar changes to my children many years ago, affected each of our own children It was so hard on them, for so many years, and  it still is a factor in the decisions they make.  A lesson we learned over these years, makes clear, that the loss of a truly significant person in a childs life can have serious, and sad outcomes.     Being so attached and then having special people   “dissappear” is heart breaking.   For our  own kids – this trauma was something they always had to deal with,  they did not have any way to communicate.   It was devastating and our hope is that while we have been removed from your lives, this form of communication, this documentation, all of these messages to you both –  may one day help you see something  that my own children could not have the opportunity to see.  Technology is a good thing for helping bridge distance.   I think the important message I wish to relate in all of this is to help you feel how loved you are….  by your mom and dad and also by all of your family that you have known for so long here in the Mitten.   We are family and we will always be family.  No distance is too great, and no amount of time can pass where the love, and the good, the happiness could ever be erased.

We will always hold dear to our hearts both of you  –  and we will always wish and send  happy and good thoughts to you both.  We are so proud of you both.   We hope to encourage you to be the same amazing, happy kids you always are and have been.  I truly believe you must miss things, relatives, friends and all that was left behind, with little or no chance to connect.  I truly have no ability to do anything to help you see that you have not lost any of the people who love you, other than to write it for you to one day see.   I hope that all those great memories will allow us to  always stay in your heart, and we will hope that each day is a day closer to when you will be able to connect with anyone you wish to.

Eli will be having a birthday this month.   Crazy huh?   So big.  Where did 7 years go?   I will bet action figures are pretty huge with him about now.   Always such a great imagination and playing with them would be a lot of fun.

With Guillianna coming up on ten … it seems unreal that you’ll be double digits!   That day will be here before you know it.    Today is a back to regular work day, so not too much is new around here.   Gray, however started his first day of first grade today, and is seriously close to losing one of his two front teeth!  Most of the public schools here in the Mitten start after Labor Day.   I know that Riley, Grant and Austin also went back today.   When the seasons change I usually go decorate for Poppy, remember.   So this week I will likely get the fall decorations ready for the office.  It has a lot of “back to school” stuff, and I will think of all the grand kids starting a new year  as i do it.

I remember shopping for back to school supplies for all our own kids, and for you two too.   Remember decorating lockers? It was so fun!   Guillianna loved school supplies as much as toys, and Elijah, you loved recess more than any kid I ever knew.   Tons of mittens and hats boots and running (gym) shoes in your locker.   But most of all you loved the memo board and love letters each day.  ( Which I still hope the stickers I have sent you come in handy!)   I will put Elijah’s birthday gift in the mail soon to ensure it is there in time for your big day.   I will also hope you make wishes on your birthday candle, for an amazing year.  Dreams are also always allowed, and dreams of seeing you both soon, and the big huge hugs, kisses and smiles that wll be there when we get that chance.

Have a great day both of you, and remember love you forever and always,

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?